This week has been the most heart-wrenching I have spent so far as editor of the Jewish Chronicle. I am a parent of a student at Blue Valley North. I didn’t just write about the incident between “our school” and the “other school,” I heard about it from my close circle of friends who also have children in the school system.

I learned a lot and not just about anti-Semitism. I’ve thought for a while now that this generation of teens has no respect for each other and I saw that first-hand through posts on Facebook. Foul language is common. I’ve been told it’s easy to attack people on social media because it’s relatively anonymous. You don’t have to look at the person you are saying downright horrible things to or about.

The incident I’m speaking about was a skit students at Blue Valley Northwest presented to make fun of the Jewish students at Blue Valley North.  (See full news story) Many believe the skit was anti-Semitic. One Jewish student who participated in the skit has apologized and said he now believes it was out of line. Other Jewish students at BVNW don’t see anything wrong with the skit. Their “I’m loyal to my school” attitude appears to be more important to them, and the outside world that has seen their pronouncements, than being loyal to their religion and Jewish heritage. Can’t these students be loyal to their school but admit that a mistake was made in this case? It was shocking to see the posts from Jewish kids on Facebook and television defending the skit.

This reminds me of what happened in Nazi Germany. Wasn’t it common for a lot of Jews in Germany to believe that they were German first and Jewish second, therefore believing that they were safe and nothing could possibly happen to them? We all know how that turned out.

I’m not suggesting this incident comes anything close to the Holocaust. But the Holocaust did become a part of this debate, at least on Facebook. One girl ranted that she didn’t understand why Jewish people continue to talk about the Holocaust. She believes nobody still living could be affected by what she obviously believes is ancient history. We know that’s not true either. So it’s apparent to me that agencies like the Midwest Center for Jewish Education have their work cut out to continue to make the Holocaust relevant to young people living in 2012.

The Jewish Community Relations Bureau|American Jewish Committee should also be thanked for stepping in to help diffuse the situation.

After talking to a lot of parents and students, I agree that this situation may have been blown a bit out of proportion. But it still shouldn’t be taken lightly. Warning sirens should be going off that this generation doesn’t know what anti-Semitism is. Maybe parents and teachers don’t understand it either. And they should, especially the adults who are supposed to be in charge. Heil Hitler salutes, which supposedly were made at a basketball game last year, should never be used as a joke. That should have raised flags with administrators immediately. I’m told it did and administrators handled it on a case by case basis. Will more discussions take place now? The district says they will. I hope they follow through.

As I said earlier, I can be counted as a Jewish member of the Blue Valley North family. At some point I think we, the Jewish community, have to shoulder at least a little of the blame for this “joke.” We let our children joke about the school, calling it “Jew Valley North.” I’ve heard parents say it also. It’s not funny. It leads to incidents just like the one we’re all abuzz about right now. As parents we need to make it clear to our children that we should NEVER say anything that we would not want to hear from other people, especially non-Jewish people. And if you think the phrase “Jew Valley North” is harmless, I urge you to re-think those thoughts and take it out of your vocabulary.

This incident brought to light a lot of hatred. It wasn’t just hatred aimed at Jews. It was hatred aimed at other human beings. The students at BVN are not blameless here. They have said horrible things as well, alluding to suicide and drug use. None of those comments are funny, either.

It’s clear to me the school district has a big problem on its hands, and most likely other school districts do also. It has to educate all those involved, especially the teachers and administrators who should have already learned these lessons, the difference between good clean fun and unnecessary attacks. Clearly these kids have no respect for each other. The district had a virtues program when my children were young, but it apparently doesn’t go far enough to teach these children — teens now who will eventually become our community’s leaders — that words and actions do hurt. It’s not just a saying, it’s the truth. Kindness is Contagious! Catch It!

QUESTION: My brother is an observant Jew in Chicago and has had a disagreement with his business partner who is not quite as religious as he but definitely a synagogue-going, somewhat observant Jew. My brother informed me that they are going to try to work out their differences in a Jewish court rather than an American civil court. Is that possible? What is this all about?

ANSWER: That is absolutely correct. A brief overview of the Jewish court system and its development over the centuries and millennia is in order to appropriately answer your question. In other words, 2,000 ago when we were really a Jewish Commonwealth and controlling our community (in Israel until the destruction of the Second Temple in the year 70 C.E., some 2,000 ago,) our courts dealt with everything, every area of Jewish Law.

The Talmud and the Code of Jewish Law deal with virtually every area of civil AND criminal law. In many countries where Jews resided over the centuries, the Jewish communities were forced by the secular society to run their own community. Jews were not allowed to testify in court in most countries just like blacks and other ethnic minorities. Even in the United States it was only shortly into the 19th century that Jews had full civil rights in all courts of our country. So often Jewish communities around the world for hundreds of years were forced, out of necessity, to deal with every area of legal life except for perhaps capital punishment in our Jewish world. We have many volumes that deal with every area you can imagine concerning both civil and criminal law. We are now Americans and live in an American democracy where civil and criminal laws are dealt with in the public court system.

Despite everything I have said until now, there is at least one area where Jewish courts function on a daily on-going basis and that is in the area of Jewish divorce. Even though we are required by law to obtain a divorce in our civil courts in Johnson or Jackson County, we are also mandated by Jewish Law to obtain a Jewish divorce. We have Jewish courts that deal with that area of our tradition. Similarly, one has the right in this country to settle civil matters without going into an American court in most cases.

For example, if there is a disagreement between partners, even if there are legal partnership documents drawn, they have the right to go to a Jewish court to settle whatever differences they may have. The Jewish court probably would require that those partners agree at the outset that whatever judgment is rendered by that court will not be appealed to a civil court or the whole trial process will have been in vain. Such a court (and there are a number of them functioning in major Jewish cities like New York, Chicago, Los Angeles and Miami) will adjudicate matters of civil laws brought before them according to Jewish Law. The process is quicker than in civil American courts and I will add that the civil courts of this country are all too happy not to have more cases come on their docket.

Several years ago, we saw the documentary, “The Case for Israel,” based on the Alan Dershowitz book. The film was produced by Gloria Z. Greenfield, president of Doc Emet Productions (founded in 2007) and Field Advocacy and Advancement Strategy Manager for the Partnership for Excellence in Jewish Education in the Greater Boston Area.

Once again, she has produced a winning documentary, “Unmasked: Judeophobia, The Threat to Civilization,” which was shown recently at the Jerusalem Cinemateque.

Holocaust survivor Elie Wiesel opens the documentary stating, “Since 1945, I was not so afraid as I am now. I am afraid because anti-Semitism, which I had thought belonged to the past, has somehow survived. I was convinced in ’45 that anti-Semitism had died with its Jewish victims at Auschwitz and Treblinka, but I see now the Jews perished, but anti-Semitism in some parts of the world is flourishing.”

For 81 minutes, prominent writers, academics and leaders including Former Minister of Justice from Canada Irwin Cotler, Harvard law professor Alan Dershowitz, human rights activist Natan Sharansky, former U.N. Ambassador John Bolton, Harvard professor Ruth Wisse, Wall Street Journal columnist Bret Stephens and 33 other experts discuss this political assault against Israel and the attempts to isolate and delegitimize the state of Israel.

Prior to its January 2012 premiere in Winnipeg, Greenfield was interviewed by Dr. Catherine Chatterley, director of the Canadian Institute for the Study of Anti-Semitism. Greenfield explained that she intentionally chose the term Judeophobia because “it is a more suitable term to convey the intellectualized and ideological hatred of Jews that is encompassed in the anti-Jewish phenomenon flourishing in many parts of the world today.”

What was Greenfield’s purpose in producing this film? To state the clear and impactful message “that all decent people — Jews as well as non-Jews — would muster the determination and commitment to both recognize the reality of the situation and to find ways to squash it.”

This film exposes and vividly illustrates the increase in Jew hatred that is threatening Western civilization.

One sees how anti-Israel and anti-American is the Islamist Arab and Muslim world. The message about the history of this “lethal obsession” is vivid and those who view this film need to address the problem and articulate it. Andrea Levin, executive director of Camera (Committee or Accuracy in Middle East Reporting which monitors anti-Israel coverage) says: “The mainstream media does not cover the story of the resurgence of anti-Semitism. Many media outlets contribute to the problem.”

In an Arutz 7 (an Israel media network) op-ed article by Professor Phyllis Chesler, author of the book, “The New Anti-Semitism,” she writes, “Even if you are not Jewish, even if you do not support Israel, you should see Gloria Greenfield’s ‘Unmasked: Judeophobia.’ It directly concerns you. ... It is the visual antidote to this false hatred, which visually through the internet, in films, in the media, emblazoned on T-shirts and signs at every rally (no matter the topic) scapegoats Jews for the world’s every sorrow. ...”

“One cannot stop watching the film,” says Chesley. “The music engages us, the manuscripts, lithographs, film footage, stills, are shocking, tragic, illuminating, beautiful, important, haunting. We have not seen many of these images before. Taken all together, they are entered into evidence. The amount of information packed into this fast-paced documentary is astounding.”

These include Medieval images of the Crucifixion; covers of the forgery, “The Protocols of the Learned Elders of Zion,” Christian anti-Semitism through the ages; the Mufti of Jerusalem and Hitler; anti-Semitism in the Arab world including “Palestinian” cartoonists portraying Jews in vicious ways; hate speeches on American campuses; anti-Semitism in France; and the violations of international law by the Mavi Marmara heading for Gaza.

Professor Chesley adds, “Gloria Greenfield, her production company, Doc Emet, and her supporters are to be commended for bringing such eloquent voices together.”

This DVD can be purchased online from Doc Emet Productions for $14.95 and needs to be viewed by Christians and Jews alike, especially in view of the forthcoming Israel apartheid week activities.

Thanks to the Vaad

Over the past two weeks, Oakwood Country Club has had the privilege of hosting two kosher events —- one, a private celebration and one, a community fundraiser — at which more than 400 dinners were served. We were thrilled to meet the challenge and provide this service.

One of the key reasons we were able to successfully accomplish this to the great satisfaction of our guests is the positive and cooperative assistance of the Vaad HaKashruth. Rather than focusing on why things could not be done, the Vaad’s goal was to explore how the menus could be crafted creatively and the food prepared deliciously.

We are grateful to the Vaad’s leadership, and specifically to Rabbi Mendel Segal, Bruce Daniels and Binyomin Mazer for their onsite supervision. Who knows, soon Chicken Tikka Masala may replace chopped liver as a kosher staple!

Chef Mike Storm
Oakwood Country Club

“Sacred Trash: The Lost and Found World of the Cairo Geniza” by Adina Hoffman and Peter Cole (Schocken Books, 2011) $26.95

In 1896 when Cambridge scholar Rabbi Solomon Schechter, who later became the president of the Jewish Theological Seminary, was shown a fragment of a Hebrew manuscript purchased in Cairo, his world tilted on its axis. The fragment was the first known Hebrew copy of a second century apocryphal text known as Ecclesiasticus, included in the Greek Orthodox and Catholic Bibles, but not in the Jewish canon. This discovery sent Schechter to Egypt where he managed to purchase and carry away a significant portion of the Cairo Geniza.

For those unfamiliar with the term geniza, it is a storage area, usually attached to a synagogue, in which damaged sacred texts are stored or buried. The discovery of the Cairo Geniza and the scholarly study of its contents restored to the Jewish people at least 1,000 years of lost history. The Cairo Geniza was a treasure trove, not just of damaged sacred texts, but also of lost poetry from the Jewish Golden Age of Spain, of history of the Jewish merchants who traded throughout the Mediterranean world and beyond, irrefutable proof of the existence of the mythical Kingdom of the Khazars, and even some Yiddish documents from the Middle Ages. One hundred twenty five years later, scholars are still piecing together fragments of history into a whole that astounds.

Poets Adina Hoffman and Peter Cole have written an exciting book that reads almost like a novel. In one chapter, they bring to life the development of secular Hebrew poetry in Medieval Spain. In another chapter, we meet the scholar S. D. Goitein whose monumental five-volume history of the Jews in the Medieval Mediterranean world is unmatched to this day. Another chapter explores palimpsests in which writers reused damaged parchments by writing over old texts. Then in the 20th century, scholars rediscovered what the original texts were.

As discovery follows discovery, readers not only are thrilled by the Geniza’s hidden treasures, but also develop an appreciation of their own genizas. What’s stored in your attic? Most of us tend to save our histories in trunks and cardboard boxes either in the basement or attic. After reading “Sacred Trash,” a reader develops a whole new appreciation for one’s trash — not to mention awe over the discoveries of the Cairo Geniza.

Andrea Kempf is a retired librarian who speaks throughout the community on various topics related to books and reading.

“Metamaus: A Look inside a Modern Classic” by Art Spiegelman (Pantheon, 2011) $35 (Book and DVD)

When Art Spiegelman began publishing “Maus” 25 years ago, reactions from the reading public ranged from praise to approbation. Imagine, telling the story of his father’s experiences in the Holocaust as a comic book and representing Jews as mice, the Poles as pigs, and the Nazis as cats? What was this avant-garde creator of comic literature trying to? In time, particularly after the author won the 1992 Special Pulitzer Prize Award, and numerous other prestigious honors, “Maus” became recognized as a 20th century classic. Spiegelman brought the graphic novel into the forefront of literature where today graphic literature is taken seriously by critics, educators and parents, as well as by readers of all ages.

Now he gives his readers “Metamaus.” This beautifully-produced book is an examination of the original “Maus” and the author’s attempt to explain why he created the book and why he used the techniques he did.

Part One, entitled “Why the Holocaust,” explains to the readers why Spiegelman had to, if not exorcise, then to understand the nightmares of his childhood growing up as the child of survivors. In creating “Maus,” the author exhaustively researched everything related to his parents’ lives. If he were going to draw the latrines at Auschwitz, he made certain that his toilets looked exactly like the ones his father Vladek used. The shoes on his father’s feet were replicas of those in an old Polish shoe repair manual. He read obsessively. He made several trips to Poland and visited Auschwitz/Birkenau. Nothing was taken for granted.

In Part Two, Spiegelman discusses why he used mice to represent the Jews. Among other things, he drew some of his inspiration from Nazi posters of the 1930s that vilified Jews. And later when “Maus” was translated in German and Polish, the Germans were more accepting of their depiction as murderous cats than were the Poles who strongly protested their depiction as pigs.

Part Three of “Metamaus” explains the artist’s techniques. Readers come to understand that the placement of every frame has significance. In addition, there are interviews with his wife and children and a complete transcript of the interviews he had with his father over the years. The text is interspersed with photographs of his family, other comics that inspired him, as well as the first, second and third attempts to draw a particular episode.

This monumental work is a breathtaking homage to Spiegelman’s parents and family. It is an elegant examination of the creative artist at work. And most of all it is a moving reminder of the Holocaust and its victims and a tribute to those who managed to survive.

Andrea Kempf is a retired librarian who speaks throughout the community on various topics related to books and reading.

The real threat to Israel

“Why do some Jews distrust Obama?” The question is off the mark. It is not Obama who is a threat to Israel, it is we Jews ourselves.

In the JTA article published last week (“Obama assassination column raises question: Why do some Jews see Obama as so sinister?” Jan. 26), some of the individuals (unnamed, but speaking out) who made outrageous comments show how racist their remarks are, and how sophomoric they are when it comes to President Obama.

Yes, the fact is the president is a black man and “people” do not like this fact since history always has shown Negroes to be inferior. But when blacks became sports figures, musicians and others who make tremendous dollars for the majority (the elite few), blacks are more valued and have brought good economic sense in their wake. President Obama is held in contempt by those who fear something he may say or do. But it is not President Obama who is destroying Israel. Jews are responsible because they think this way.

Look how we are behaving. When one observes Jewish assimilation into mainstream Christian living, away from Jewish life — messianic Jews, conversions to other religions, non-practicing Jews and intermarriage — we find we are diminishing our numbers.  Christians appear to love their god more than Jews love our G-d. Christian churches command large membership numbers and often have multiple services. In Kansas City where approximately 20,000 Jews live, only a few hundred attend our  local synagogues each Shabbat. As Pogo would say, “…The enemy is us!”

It is a shame that Jews have allowed themselves to run away from their culture that has — and is still — changed the whole world since Egypt. It is so sad that they cannot see these facts. The United States needs to increase its number of Jews in communities who are knowledgeable and in love with their culture and literature (past and present), which garners much greater support for Israel and its importance.

So I repeat, President Barak Hussein Obama is not our problem. It. Is. Us.

Jesse Newman
Overland Park, Kan.

What do our youth know about Auschwitz?

Perhaps it is true that the only people who remember wars are the men who fought them and their children who remember their father’s sacrifices.

Some news is odd for what is says, some for where it came from. Printed in the Jan. 25 edition of Istanbul-based Hürriyet Daily News is this article:

“One in five young Germans unaware of Auschwitz: Poll”

“One in five young Germans has no idea that Auschwitz was a Nazi death camp, a poll released Wednesday [Jan. 25] showed, two days ahead of Holocaust Memorial Day.”

“Although 90 percent of those asked did know it was a concentration camp, the poll for Thursday’s edition of Stern news magazine revealed that Auschwitz meant nothing to 21 percent of 18- to 29-year-olds.”

“And nearly a third of the 1,002 people questioned last Thursday and Friday [Jan.19-20] for the poll were unaware that Auschwitz was in today’s Poland.”

“The poll comes ahead of the anniversary of the liberation of Auschwitz by Soviet troops on Jan.27, 1945, which Germany has marked since 1996 with official memorial ceremonies for Holocaust victims.”

“According to a report by independent experts commissioned by the German parliament and published earlier this week, about one in five Germans is latently anti-Semitic.”

The brief article cited in the Hürriyet Daily News appears in the Hamburg-based magazine, Der Stern (“The Star”), in German. It can be found at http://www.stern.de/news2/aktuell/jeder-fuenfte-juengere-deutsche-kennt-auschwitz-nicht-1778115.html
One wonders how today’s American youth and indeed those of other countries would fare if asked the same questions.

Scott Brown
Leawood, Kan.

Thank you all for coming!

I have been on Cloud Nine since last Sunday afternoon, Jan. 22, when we all gathered to watch the first of the “Matinees at the Heritage Center.” It’s hard to describe what it’s like to have an idea and to see that idea sprout into a happening. The fact that more than 100 people attended that first matinee made it the very best experience of my life.

During every Saturday morning service, we read about the commandments G-d asks us to keep, and over the past number of years I have read the one asking us to “Honor thy father and thy mother.” Every Saturday, I would think about a way to do that for my mother, of blessed memory for 56 years, and for my father, of blessed memory for 47 years. And since the day you all helped me to launch the “Circle for Yiddish Learning — the language and the culture” and now with the addition of the movies, I know my prayers have been answered.

May G-d bless you all.

Ray Davidson
Overland Park, Kan.

I took piano lessons growing up. For years, it seemed. And while I was largely ambivalent to the formal recitals, I remember vividly playing for my nana despite her living three states away. During our Sunday night conversations I often stretched the coiled, yellow kitchen phone cord through the living room to the piano. I would struggle through a bit of whatever I was practicing that week and at the end ask breathlessly, “Did you hear that, Nana?!” Her inevitable compliment left me feeling proud, warm, loved.

A few weeks ago, my husband and I purchased a new digital piano. Of its many bells and whistles, it includes a USB port that allows us to record a song, upload it to a computer and email it to family. It is a feature I hope to one day use with our children and my mom. A lot has changed in 30 years.

And now in 2012, a changed process yet the same end goal: a grandchild and grandparent sharing a special moment.

Super Sunday 2012 is a week away. In my second year as co-chair, I continue to thoroughly enjoy the thought and planning that culminates in one of the largest fundraising efforts of our Jewish community. For me, volunteering for Super Sunday has not only allowed me to learn about the breadth of the Federation’s impact, it has served as a quasi-history lesson about past fundraising efforts. Before the days of email campaigns, blog posts and Facebook updates; before Super Sunday even existed, there were dedicated volunteers who knocked on doors, wrote letters and picked up the phone.

This year’s Super Sunday, no longer on Super Bowl Sunday, has a new look and feel. It will be Sunday night rather than the morning and early afternoon. We will be using Facebook, Twitter and YouTube to share updates. We will have only one Sunday calling session. Some volunteers will be using personal mobile phones to facilitate donor and thank you calls.

Yes, a changed process, but with the same end goal: dedicated volunteers giving their time to raise funds that will sustain and enhance Jewish life at home and around the world.

Super Sunday is not the only thing evolving to meet the needs of our community. The newly rebranded Jewish Federation of Greater Kansas City has realigned many of its marketing activities to better communicate with the community and to better meet its needs. As Todd Stettner detailed in his Jan. 6, 2012, blog post, “50 percent of the Jewish Federation donors don’t know what we do.”

Over the past year, to improve that nagging statistic, we have seen a new logo, website and mission statement. The logo, now used by almost all Jewish Federations across the United States, represents the Federation’s cohesion despite geographic separation. An enhanced website launched this week aims to improve the flow of information. The refocused mission statement, “To sustain and enhance Jewish life at home and around the world,” has been integrated into Federation marketing material. Each of these marketing activities allows donors to better see how their contributions impact the Jewish community, as well as which groups or services might fit their current needs or life stages.

In the simplest of terms, your donations go to one of five areas of service: Safety Net, Youth & Family, Senior Adult, Jewish Identity & Education, Israel and Overseas. Approximately two-thirds of donations stay right here in Kansas City. Each and every gift to the Annual Community Campaign serves the Jewish Federation’s mission, to sustain and enhance Jewish life at home and around the world. Everywhere. Everyday.

It is through all these changes that the Jewish Federation can remain the same. And it is an honor to be part of it.

Karen Loggia is co-chairing this year’s Super Sunday with Neal Schwartz.

Last night and today (Jan. 25 and 26), we are commemorating the shloshim, the 30-day period since the burial of a very beloved member of our Jewish community, Michael Wajcman. Traditionally, the 30th day in the mourning process is a time to comfort surviving relatives, learn Torah in the merit of the deceased and reflect upon all of their wonderful contributions to the world.

I had the distinct pleasure of becoming friends with Michael over the past four years. I remember the first time I met him and his beloved wife, Shira, at a Jewish Community Center open house. He walked up to me and introduced himself. When I told him I was a rabbi, he got really excited and since that day they were very involved in almost all of the young professional programming that our organization, the Kollel, organized.

Michael was at our very first group Shabbat dinner, and I remember him so clearly singing along, dancing with us in a circle, smiling away, and asking when the next one was going to be. I remember the first time he told me they were expecting a baby. They were eating a meal at our house, and he was asking my wife what was in everything because he wanted to be careful that there weren’t any of the foods that his wife was to avoid during pregnancy.

I remember his beautiful smile at his son Jeremiah’s bris, beaming from ear to ear with such a glowing pride. I remember the first time they came to our house with the new baby. Michael put the little one in his car seat with such care, held him in such a delicate, loving way and so joyful as he fed him a bottle and boasted what a good eater he was. I remember him singing so many different Shabbat songs, taking such a pride in being Jewish and rejoicing with friends. I remember him telling us the exciting news that they were expecting twins, a boy and a girl! And as Rabbi Scott White said so well at his funeral, he loved parenting so much, he was so eager to start it again.

There are so many wonderful memories, and they all represent the kind of person Michael was. A beautiful Jewish soul dedicated to building a family and excited to be part of the community growing around him. We are all overwhelmed by the sadness and pain of his sudden passing, but we will always look back at his qualities of kindness, dedication, joy, and eagerness to be engaged in life. Michael was known for the endearing smile that he offered to his patients, his teammates, his friends, and his peers. The Talmud praises such a person for bringing more happiness into the world.

The Book of Proverbs (11:30) says, “The fruit of a righteous man is a tree of life.” The Torah is also compared to a Tree of Life, and Michael’s children are his beautiful fruits.

Unfortunately, the Wajcman family has lost their righteous root, but we in the Jewish community are looking forward to seeing his blossoms flourish, his darling children Jeremiah, Eitan and Samantha. May G-d send them comfort.

QUESTION: I am sure this is going to be an unusual question. We are Conservative Jews. Furthermore, I would say we are not especially observant but certainly respect the holidays and the basic values of Traditional/Conservative Judaism. Our son is engaged to a young lady from New York City. Their wedding is going to take place this coming June. My son and future daughter-in-law always wanted a June wedding. The problem is in New York City where thousands of Jewish brides and grooms marry in the month of June. There were no Sundays available for their wedding. Sundays are booked very quickly. They are now thinking of getting married on a Saturday night and the rabbi tells them that he is available at 8 p.m. I know by just checking sundown that that is a good hour or slightly more before Shabbat concludes. I have always been told that weddings cannot be performed on Shabbat or a major Jewish holiday. Is that true and if so, why?

RESPONSE: I do not want my response to create any kind of  family friction. It is wonderful that your son is marrying a Jewish girl in a Jewish wedding ceremony.

It is a major violation of Jewish law, biblical law, to get married on Shabbat or a major Jewish festival. If you think about it, there are numerous ingredients in a Jewish wedding ceremony that violate Shabbat or a festival. There is the signing of the Ketubah and one cannot write on Shabbat. There is the breaking of the glass and breaking any object is forbidden on Shabbat. The wedding ceremony itself is a contract between bride and groom. One cannot enter into a contract on Shabbat or Yom Tov.

Shabbat does not end until dark, which is about 40 minutes after sunset. Whether one does a wedding at 10 in the morning, 2 in the afternoon or 8 in the evening in the month of June, it is all the same. It is not like “Shabbat winds down.” Having lived in New York as a young man in rabbinical school, I attended weddings that began at 10 at night. That city “rocks.” It is not unusual for people to go out to dinner at 10 or 11 p.m., and then activities following. If your kids are determined to have their wedding on a Saturday night, there is no reason they could not start at 9:30 or 9:45 p.m. and do very well in New York City.

Your feelings about the severity of the violation of Jewish law in doing this before Shabbat is over are totally correct and I hope this issue gets resolved for the good.