(Editor’s Note: Erin Margolin was one of 18 people, including two staff members, from the Jewish Federation of Greater Kansas City who attended TribeFest in Las Vegas late last month. TribeFest is Jewish Federations of North America’s conference for 21 to 45-year-olds, designed to engage, educate and inspire them to become active in the Federation system and in organized Jewish life.)

When my best friend, Meg Shaw, first mentioned TribeFest several months ago, I rolled my eyes and cut her off. “Oy and no,” I sighed. “I’ve got a new baby, I’m exhausted. And the twins…” I trailed off. Excuses are easy to find when you’re new to something or you’re secretly afraid. To her credit, Meg didn’t take no for an answer and kept nagging me to join her in Vegas for the conference. There was also the Jewish guilt prodding me along, chirping in my ear, “You’re the president of Temple Israel. You need to go, learn something, immerse yourself and spend some quality time with other Jews from KC.”

Eventually I capitulated, which wasn’t too hard, given that the Jewish Federation graciously subsidized the cost of my conference ticket; I shared a hotel room with Meg, and the direct flights on Southwest were convenient and cheap. I desperately wanted to bring something back to Rabbi Cukierkorn and our congregation, my fellow board members, my family, my community — even something just for me. Not anything tangible, mind you; instead, some wise and powerful message.

And you know what? I brought back so much more than I have the space to share with you. But one person stands out — Talia Leman, the CEO (Chief Executive Optimist) of Random Kid, a non-profit organization that leverages the power of youth to solve problems in the world. Talia hails from a small town in Iowa and began years ago as just that — a random kid. Now, at the age of 16, she’s won the National Jefferson Award, which is akin to the Nobel Prize for public service.

At the tender age of 10, Talia spearheaded a campaign to raise money for the Gulf Coast victims of Hurricane Katrina. She decided to trick-or-treat for coins instead of candy and enlisted her friends’ help, who then turned to their friends, and word quickly got around. A grocery store chain printed 8.5 million trick-or-treat bags in 13 states, and NPR and CNN got wind of Talia’s plan and interviewed her. Her initial fundraising goal? One million dollars (GASP!). But she didn’t raise that. She didn’t raise half a million dollars. She raised $10 million along with the help of other kids from all over the country.

When asked why she called it “Random Kid,” Talia explained, “Because when we believe in the power we each have, we have the greatest power of all.” She went on to say, “We need to be free enough and brave enough to take a step sideways, where the unexpected might happen.”

My takeaway? It’s time for me, my congregation, my family, you, all of us — to stop thinking that we alone have nothing valuable to contribute. It’s time to step up and do something, to effect change. To start a trend. What if we all made this promise to ourselves? Imagine what we could do for our Jewish community, for our families and for the entire world.

Last year the Jewish Federation of Greater Kansas City sent seven people to TribeFest. This year there were 18 of us, so more than double. Next year I’ll be going again and you should, too. Ask yourself how  you can “step sideways” in our community. How can you get out of your rut, think outside of your own little box? How can you set off a ripple of change? I assure you it’s not necessary to raise $10 million dollars. Baby steps. It doesn’t have to be overwhelming!

Just promise me — no, promise yourself — that you will stop and think. I know from experience that it’s all too easy to hide behind our families, jobs and our kids’ extracurricular activities. But when you lie down in bed at night, what do you dream of as you’re falling asleep?

I dream of being someone like Talia Leman. My baby steps are small: I’m a J-LEAD member and the president of my synagogue, Temple Israel; I’ve taken Ayeka and B’not Kehila classes; I’ve co-chaired the Jewish Federation Women’s Division annual Note-A-Thon and participated in that project several times. Yes, I have three young children now, but what will my life look like in a few short years? Look out. Because I’m just a random kid too. A random kid who’s daring to dream big.

In addition to finding Erin Margolin volunteering at various organizations around Kansas City, you can find her blog at http://www.erinmargolin.com.

In 1993, five years before Matthew Shepard was beaten and left to die, a rock was thrown through the window of a home displaying a menorah in Billings, Mont. The people of Billings rose in silent protest and paper menorahs appeared in windows all over town.

Nothing much changed for Jewish families in Billings in the aftermath of this event. Nothing much except the reassurance that there were people in their town who had a deep capacity for compassion.
Sometimes nothing much is a whole lot.

The most straightforward statement of the principle of compassion in the Torah is Leviticus 19:18; “you shall love your neighbor as yourself.” This ethic of reciprocity, this “golden rule,” is said to exist in every world religion.

And that’s fitting because the question of how to treat others is a universal human question. In a Jewish context, the ethical approach to compassion is referred to as “accomplishing a mitzvah.” In its most literal meaning, to accomplish a mitzvah is to carry out one of the 613 Commandments of Sinai. But Jewish texts and teachings take the notion of a mitzvah further; any act motivated by spontaneous kindness toward another person can be considered the moral equivalent of one of the original commandments. Translated this way, mitzvah means “good deed.”

In Pirkei Avot, Rabbi Ben Azzai is cited as saying, “Run to perform even a minor mitzvah, and flee from sin; for one mitzvah leads to another mitzvah, and one sin leads to another sin; for the consequence of a mitzvah is a mitzvah, and the consequence of a sin is a sin.”

Run to perform even a minor mitzvah. Sometimes nothing much is a whole lot.

The problems of the world are huge and overwhelming. Watching the evening news can be bewildering; story after story about the human capacity for hate, greed and violence. Hate is complex. It’s big. It can seem unconquerable. The power of “The Laramie Project” lies in the fact that the plays do not gloss over that complexity, that largeness, that invincibility. “The Laramie Project” plays face it all head on. They don’t pretend to heal the wound with a contrived set of pat answers; instead they rip the scab forcefully off the wound and leave the audience free to decide how best to heal.

Perhaps one way to heal is to walk out of this theater newly resolved to do good deeds; to re-enter the world determined to find ways to accomplish a mitzvah. Even tiny good deeds can make a difference; holding open a door, smiling at a passerby. And if you pay enough attention to the world around you to smile or hold open a door, chances are you’ll be well-placed to notice opportunities for more good deeds.

Sometimes nothing much is a whole lot.

There’s a story in the Talmud in which a young man walks up to Rabbi Hillel and promises to convert to Judaism if the rabbi will teach him the whole Torah while standing on one foot. Hillel lifts one foot off the ground and replies, “What is hateful to you, do not do to your comrade; this is the whole Torah in its entirety; the rest is commentary: go learn.”
Go. Learn.

And, as Plato said, be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.

Krista Lang Blackwood is director of cultural arts at the Jewish Community Center of Greater Kansas City.

“What We Talk About When We Talk About Anne Frank” by Nathan Englander. (Knopf Doubleday Publishing Group,2012)

I was reading the title story of Nathan Englander’s latest collection of short fiction, “What We Talk About When We Talk About Anne Frank,” wondering where he was going with his rambling tale of a reunion between two old school friends and their husbands — one couple secularized, the other haredi — when suddenly I got to the end, and I sat there stunned, unable to read on for several minutes. Such is the nature of an Englander story. He may seem to be going nowhere, but like a gymnast sticking a perfect landing, he brings it all together in the final paragraphs.

The story, despite its title, is not really about Anne Frank, who is here a metonym for the Holocaust. The title is rather an allusion to Raymond Carver’s “What We Talk About When We Talk About Love,” as if to suggest that even when Jews make small talk, consciousness of the Holocaust is always in the background.

The second story, perhaps the best in the collection of eight, is “Sister Hills,” a chronicle of the relationship between two families in an Israeli “settlement.” It revolves around an ancient Jewish superstition that the angel of death can be fooled. In this story, a woman “sells” her ailing daughter to a neighbor for that purpose, with unintended consequences. Set against the tragic circumstances of Israel’s unending state of war, the story veers deftly between comic absurdity and tragedy.

What I especially like about Englander’s stories is the extent to which he is immersed in Jewish culture, not as backdrop but as the essence of his characters’ identities. (I have heard that my paternal grandmother, not a particularly religious person, had a rabbi come to the house to change my aunt’s name under similar circumstances.) For the most part, the stories are Jewish to the extent that they would not make sense if transferred to another culture.

Probably the most provocative story in the collection is the final one, “Free Fruit for Young Widows,” which tackles in a non-judgmental way the difficult moral choices people make in wartime and the way in which the experience of the Holocaust and the ongoing conflict with the Arab nations affect those choices.

Another story which I found particularly powerful was “The Reader,” a surrealistic tale of an author who goes on a book tour only to find that no one cares about his work except for one devotee who follows him from town to town. Despite the story’s discouraging view of the state of literature in modern society, the author manages to find an uplifting message: “Author reads for Seattle; it has always been his city. He reads for the buyer, who has always believed. Author reads one more time to his old man. He smiles at his reader, and reads on through the tears. Author reads on. And Author reads on.”

With his first book, “For Relief of Unbearable Urges,” Nathan Englander marked himself as an important young writer to be watched. With this second volume, he has earned a place beside authors such as Bernard Malamud and I.B. Singer as one of the most important Jewish story-tellers of our era.

Puzzling rebuttal

The reply of Sheldon Roufa (March 29) to Shoula Horing’s article of March 22 is puzzling. He states that her facts are wrong, but fails to point out one single wrong fact. Curious. He states that she beats the drums for war with Iran, whereas a fair reading of her article nowhere finds her making such a demand, either specifically or by inference. He states that her position is that the United States should start a war with Iran immediately. These allegations appear nowhere in her article.

The thrust of her article is that Obama does not back Israel, and if, after careful consideration of all alternatives, Israel does strike at the Iranian nuclear facilities, it will be without the support of the United States. This has now become clearer.

Very recently, information was leaked to the press that Israel had entered into an agreement with Azerbaijan for use of its facilities as a staging base for aircraft should Israel attack Iran. It is inconceivable that Israel leaked this information. That the Obama administration leaked it seems the most likely explanation, particularly considering it was leaked to the American, not the Israeli, press.

Why would they do this? The answer is obvious. This leak of highly sensitive information makes it extremely difficult for Israel to achieve tactical surprise, forcing Israel to revise its plans, perhaps delaying their timetable at least until after the election.

Is there any proof the Obama administration leaked this? Absolutely not. But at the very least, the source of the leak is highly suspicious. This agreement with Azerbaijan can only have been known by very few. The question is, qui bono? Who gains? Taken with all the other actions (as opposed to empty words) of the Obama administration, what we have here is more than just another straw in the wind. Combined with the evidence outlined in Horing’s article, and elsewhere, it is increasingly clear that Israel stands alone as long as Obama is president. Should he be re-elected, the Jewish vote will no longer be a concern to him. When voting in November, this fact should be uppermost in the minds of those who have any concern at all for the survival of Israel.

Obama has now announced yet another in the endless round of negotiations with Iran. Tick tock. Tick tock.

Lee Levin
Overland Park, Kan.

Offensive logic

In the March 22 edition of The Chronicle, Shoula Romano Horing yet again beats the drum for war with Iran. Horing asserts that President Obama “will never attack Iran or support an Israeli attack before the election because such a war in the oil-rich region would send gasoline prices even higher than they are now.” She states that Obama will only attack Iran if he is in danger of losing the election.

Her facts are wrong, her logic is offensive and her position, that the United States should start a war with Iran immediately, is dangerous in the extreme. Obama and Secretary of State Clinton have repeatedly expressed both strong support for Israel and very clear warnings to Iran on their nuclear pursuits.

As we have seen with devastating results, it’s easy to start a war; but, as former Mossad Chief Meir Dagan said recently on “60 Minutes,” “you never know how you are ending it. An attack on Iran before exploring all other approaches is not the right way.”
Not only did he believe there was more time for other methods to tackle the mounting problem, but Dagan was also skeptical a military strike would cause adequate damage to wholly destroy Iran’s plants and markedly halt the development of a nuclear weapons capability.

“You’ll have to deal with a large number of targets,” he clarified, after saying there may be more than a dozen nuclear-related sites on the military agenda.

Even if a strike were to inflict worthwhile damage, Dagan expressed concern about the repercussions of a possible Israeli mission in terms of the retaliation it might provoke from the regime and its terrorist proxies.

I fear for both Israel and the United States if all avenues are not explored.

Sheldon Roufa
Leawood, Kan.

Some of you still think that peace is possible for Israel in the Middle East. Some of you still believe that if Israel would only engage with or negotiate with its Arab enemies, there is chance for peace. Some of you argue that the roots of the conflict and the anti -Israeli and anti-Jewish terrorism and hatred are the so-called occupation, the settlements, the zealot settlers, the road blocks, poverty and a sense of humiliation and hopelessness among the Arabs, especially the Palestinians.

Some of you still believe that if Israel would only withdraw from the so called occupied territories to the 1967 borders, and a Palestinian state with Jerusalem as a capital would be established, and the Golan Heights would be given away to the Syrians, Israel will at last live in peace with its neighbors.

But the targeting of Jewish kids ages 3, 6 and 8 in Toulouse, France, should remind us that the root of the conflict is extreme Muslim indoctrination to Jihad, violence and hate against Jews.

There is no chance for any true peace in the Middle East for many years to come when several generations of young Arabs and Muslims have already been lost through daily brainwashing to the dark side of civilization, and nothing Israel or the United States will do can bring them back. Similar to Nazism, the central theme of their brainwashing is irrational and obsessive hatred of Jews.

Otherwise how do you explain the fact that the 23-year-old terrorist targeted a Jewish school in Toulouse chasing Miriam, an 8-year-old girl, grabbing her ponytail and shooting her three times in the head? Why did he take the trouble filming, strapping a video to his neck and film himself chasing the kids through the schoolyard shooting at them? Why did he document the execution of Rabbi Jonathan Sandler and his two little boys ages 3 and 5?

Because for the Islamists, like for the Nazis in World War II, Jewish children are not perceived as human beings, but rather as the rodents portrayed in the Nazis propaganda films. Similarly, thousands of sermons, statements, television shows and articles emanating from the Muslim and Arab world liken Jews and Israelis to animals, diseases and the devil, and attributing to them all manner of evil.

For the Islamists, as for the Nazis, the destruction of the Jews and the Jewish state is central to their world ideology and indoctrination of hate.

This brings to mind the historic discussion as to why Hitler devoted so much time, money and manpower in order to murder every Jewish man, woman and child in every country the Nazis occupied. Why, even on the verge of defeat, was the Nazis’ main concern, the hastening of the extermination of the Jews?

And, in the final, grisly parallel with the Nazis, for the Islamist terrorist in Toulouse, just killing Jews was not enough. His victims had to be Jewish children too.

So, what is my solution to the conflict?

I never understood why people believe that every conflict can be solved diplomatically. Many attempts by Israel to find a diplomatic solution have caused further violence and bloodshed. The 1993 Oslo agreement and the Camp David accords of 2000 caused more than 5,000 fatalities and injuries to Israelis. After the unilateral withdrawals of the Israeli army from Gaza and Southern Lebanon, Israeli communities inside Israel were victimized by thousands of rockets and missiles.

Sometimes a military solution is the only solution against evil as it was the only solution against Nazism.

Making Israel stronger than ever militarily and hunting down and targeting the terrorists and their sponsors is the solution. Cease fires, and negotiations, are used by the enemies as a delaying tactic and a period for renewed military buildups and training. Negotiations and withdrawals from territories are perceived in the Middle East as appeasement and weakness and as a motivation to restart the violence.

How much more bloodshed is necessary for people to understand that even if Israel gave away all territory demanded, and even went further and limited its territory only to the city of Tel Aviv, there would still not be peace but a jumpstart and invitation for another war?

Shoula Romano Horing is an Israeli born and raised, an attorney in Kansas City, Missouri and a national speaker. Her blog: www.shoularomanohoring.com.

Interfaith marriage can cause confusion and conflict in the homes of the parents. Observing two sets of holidays and teaching the kids two different religious cultures and visiting two different houses of worship often is a tough balancing act for parents.

Every year the Easter/Passover dilemma surfaces in interfaith families with children. This year the first seder and Good Friday fall on the same day. Passover and Easter are holidays where the religious element is definitely in the forefront, and that makes the situation more difficult.

More than half of all Jews who wed these days marry non-Jewish people.  Grandparents are finding that the tradition of passing on their heritage to their grandchildren has become a perplexing problem in diplomacy.

Problems for the interfaith family may arise when visits are made to each of the grandparents’ homes. For example, Sally and Ben Weiss have stopped visiting Sally’s parents for Easter. Her mother cannot accept Sally’s conversion to Judaism and talks constantly about a baptism for her grandchildren. These visits have become too stressful, so the young parents have chosen not to visit at holiday time so as to remove the strain and conflict.

For grandparents, one of the biggest challenges is to listen non-judgmentally to interfaith grandchildren as they try to understand and tell about their beliefs.

In the book I wrote, “Mingled Roots: A Guide For Jewish Grandparents of Interfaith Grandchildren,” my advice is not to meddle in the religious upbringing of your grandchildren. I remind grandparents that the number one rule of interfaith grandparenting is “follow the parents’ wishes. These are your grandchildren, not your children, so play by the rules. Don’t be judgmental, and try to accept the parents’ choices even when you might not agree. It will make the family a more harmonious one.” Agree in advance with the parents on what may or may not be said to their children.

It is essential that the two sets of grandparents support each other and make an effort to compromise where it is needed. There are many things that may be new and strange to the other family. If possible, share the holiday. Invite the Christian grandparents to your Passover seder and join the fun if you are invited for an Easter egg hunt. In this way the grandchildren will have an opportunity to develop an understanding of both cultures. You can’t expect to be privileged to attempt to transmit your heritage without accommodation being made for the other side of the equation.

Here are some suggestions to avoid in-law problems:

• Do talk frankly with the parents about how you plan to transmit heritage to the grandchildren.

• Do indicate your respect for the rituals your children or the other grandparents observe in their home. even if they are unfamiliar to you.

• Don’t take your grandchild to religious service or give books or religious objects without parental approval.

Being a part of a Jewish/Christian extended family offers special challenges at holiday time. With patience the families can learn to adjust to the difference. It’s not easy and it takes effort on the part of all generations, but it is worth it.

Sunie Levin has lectured and held workshops around the country and has been interviewed on national television and radio programs. Her newest book, “Make New Friends … Live Longer,” can be ordered at http://www.makenewfriendslivelonger.com.

Misleading journalism

As an individual affiliated with the Occupy KC movement, I would like to point out that the headline of the article stating that Occupy KC has been infiltrated (Anti-Semitic propaganda infiltrates Occupy Kansas City Movement, March 15) is representative of misleading journalism.

Occupy KC General Assembly has passed a proposal denouncing hate speech of all kinds, including speech directed against different religious and racial backgrounds, against LGBTQ individuals and other groups. As the article stated, Occupy KC did not produce and certainly does not endorse the hate-filled material that is in question.

Another error in the article, which may not be the fault of the editor or your publication, is that “leaders” of the Occupy KC movement have denounced this broadsheet and website. Although, as I mentioned, Occupy KC has spoken out against hate speech, the statement was issued through General Assembly through a horizontal leaderless consensus-based process. Although some individuals assume leadership roles based on intrinsic traits and influenced by sociological constructs, we remain a leaderless horizontal movement with no individual voice having more power than another. To speak of leaders and referencing traditional vertical organizational structures is to thwart the spirit of the movement as a whole.

Please visit occupykc.net for additional information, as this represents a record of our local Kansas City movement and is endorsed by Occupy KC General Assembly.

Anthony Cage
Kansas City, Mo.

While Israel fears a new holocaust from a nuclear armed Iran, President Obama seems only to be worried about a preemptive attack on Iran or the talk of war raising oil prices and thereby harming the U.S. economy and his re-election campaign.

Despite his reassurances at the AIPAC conference that he “won’t hesitate to use force to prevent Iran from obtaining a nuclear weapon,” in reality, he is bluffing to woo Jewish voters and stop an Israeli unilateral attack on Iran.

Less than two days after his AIPAC campaign speech, Obama had already begun backsliding from his commitment. When asked what he meant by his comments that “we have Israel’s back,” the president answered that “it was not a military doctrine that we were laying out for any particular military action.”

Israel should realize by now that Obama will never attack Iran or support an Israeli attack before the election because such a war in the oil-rich region would send gasoline prices even higher than they are now, exacerbating the economy he perceives to be recovering and hurting his chance for re-election.

The price of gasoline has been rising daily over the last month due to the sanctions and tensions over Iran, averaging $3.79 a gallon. Since 1976 in the United States, there has been a correlation between rising oil prices and falling presidential approval ratings. Jimmy Carter lost the presidency when gas averaged $3.37 per gallon when adjusted to the current value of the dollar.

Not only is Obama warning against an attack but he has also been warning against any talk of an attack. In his AIPAC speech, Obama literally blamed high gas prices on his Republican critics and Israel’s supporters saying “Already, there is a loose talk of war. Over the last few weeks such a talk has only benefited the Iranian government by driving up the price of oil, which they depend on to fund their nuclear program. Now is not the time for bluster.”

Despite Obama taking credit in his AIPAC speech for the new “crippling” sanctions against Iran and asking the Israelis to wait a few months to allow them to take effect, in reality he has tried to weaken them. In December the Kirk-Menendez amendment, passed by a rare 100-0 vote in the Senate, directed the administration to take punitive measures against foreign entities that do business with Iran. However, the administration tried to pressure top ranking Democrats, thankfully to no avail, to delay the implementation of the sanctions by a few months arguing that such an amendment could raise oil prices and hurt the U.S. economy. Moreover, President Obama failed to begin enforcing the sanctions on Feb. 29 as the law intended.

The nightmare scenario for Barack Obama would be the revelation, in the midst of an improving economy during the next eight months, of an Iranian nuclear breakthrough forcing him to either act or back down and then be judged by the voters.

The only scenario under which Obama will attack Iran is if he believes he has a chance of losing the election because the economy deteriorates, unemployment rises and Romney, the Republican presidential candidate, is gaining in popularity. Two days after Bin Laden was killed in 2011, Obama’s job approval ratings rose by 9 percent to its highest level since 2009 despite the stagnant economy.

If he is re-elected, President Obama, in his second term, will not attack Iran even as a last resort. Not needing Jewish votes or re-election and true to his ideology of appeasement, he will re-adopt his “containment policy” of useless diplomacy and engagement policies, leading eventually to a nuclear armed Iran.

By then, the Middle East will be an explosive powder keg, waiting for the Iranian trigger. Israel’s only deterrence option to stop Iran from attacking would be the threat of retaliation through total annihilation by its nuclear weapons arsenal.

Watching Benjamin Netanyahu’s AIPAC speech, it seems clear that he realized after talking to Obama that Israel is alone in this fight. Israel’s only remaining hope is if Obama loses the election and the Republican candidate becomes president. The only time that the extremist Iranian leadership decided to suspend its nuclear program was in 2003, after the U.S. invaded Iraq, because it truly believed a Republican president’s warnings that they would be attacked next.

Shoula Romano Horing was born and raised in Israel. She is an attorney in Kansas City and a national speaker. Her blog: www.shoularomanohoring.com.

Take a lesson from history

When dealing with Iran, America needs to take a lesson from history. During the Cuban Missile Crisis (according to Evan Thomas’ biography “Robert Kennedy”) the hawks surrounding President Kennedy were calling for air strikes while Kennedy decided on a blockade combined with negotiations. Though it was true that toughness and unbending resolve were the ways to handle the Soviets, recognizing that Khrushchev needed to be met with firmness, at the same time it was important that he be allowed to save face.

Marvin Fremerman
Springfield, Mo.