Last week I addressed the Annual Meeting of the Jewish Community Center to talk about a new collaborative “Jewish Life and Learning” program between Federation and the Jewish Community Center. I would like to share these remarks with you so you can understand what we are doing as well. I believe it is a model for other communities to emulate.

When at conferences with other Jewish communities around the country, I often share with people how lucky I feel about being the CEO of the Federation in Kansas City. If any of you have ever lived in other Jewish communities, you would be hard pressed to find a community with the kinds of institutional relationships we have in KC. Whether it is the Jewish Funders Council where the Jewish Federation, Jewish Community Foundation, Menorah Legacy and Jewish Heritage Foundations come together; or agencies that share a program and staff as is the case of our Jewish Employment Service (where Jewish Family Service and Jewish Vocational Service have partnered to bring  jobs to our Jewish unemployed); or the Rabbinical Association that jointly programs around specific holidays together — we are a community that tends not to let institutional barriers get in our way.  We are lucky in Kansas City to have a culture that strives towards cooperation and collaboration

In fact, I just came from a meeting today where we attempted to define that word — collaboration. To paraphrase one of the meeting participants  — collaboration is about “all sides having skin in the game… jointly risking one’s reputation…sharing resources, planning and working together to accomplish mutually agreed upon goals.” This new venture that the JCC and the Federation are embarking upon is doing just that.  We are learning what it really means to play well in our community sandbox.

This process actually began four years ago — under Bob Grant’s leadership of the JCC and Bill Carr’s of the Federation — when our respective officers first convened to discuss the possibility of closer ties. After the first meeting, we kind of shook our heads and said okay — so now what? We had not really followed Covey principals and thought of what was the “end in mind.”  Today under Gary Weinberg’s leadership of the JCC and Miriam Scharf’s leadership of the Federation the staffs and volunteers of our two agencies understand the goal and are moving a powerful agenda forward. A collaborative lay team with Cindy Bodker and Mark Eisemann as the chairs will help oversee and review this process.

As our staffs met to determine what should and could be accomplished, the logical starting point was Jewish education, identity and cultural arts.

Both our institutions have strong professional leadership in these areas and as we both went through a strategic review of the future of our programs, our ideas took shape. A work team guided from JCC staff headed by Jill Maidoff and another representing Federation’s CAJE staff headed by Alan Edelman have been working hard for several months to find common grounds where we can work together and expand the quality of what each other is doing. We also knew that the combined Jewish educational and community experience of Jill and Alan, which is extensive and deep, placed the project in good hands.

This joint effort was not easy at first, what we are doing is almost akin to a merger; we had different cultures, turf to protect, egos to contend with, but in the end, after spending a great deal of time together, we have a very good working staff group. Now let me be clear — not all programs will be done together in these areas but all programs will be open to input from the other side. There will still be some programs that are the JCC’s and others that are just CAJE but more and more you will see and feel the impact of each organization on the other.

For the first time joint grants have been proposed to funders, which we hope will soon see positive results, staffs are meeting regularly and program development and enhancements are under way.

The programs we are collaborating on include those for children, families and adults. They compose an informal Jewish education, culture and identity building platform which I believe is not to be found anywhere else in the country at this moment. Yes, there are Federations that now operate JCC’s and JCC’s and Federations that have merged. Most of these situations have been structural changes driven by scarcer financial resources. Few are motivated beyond the financial reason to look at how effectively they are delivering programming to their community and can they make it better, not just more cost effective. I believe ultimately we are going to do both and will have a better product.

In the coming months you are going to see us make more extensive use of the PJ Library program, including a first time young family Shabbaton. We will create new adult learning opportunities, enhance Jewish aspects of cultural arts so we will not just have a play or musical with hints of Jewish themes but will have programming built around it, including, for example, a “Jewish Mother Month” coinciding with the show “Gypsy.” I could go on but it is just enough to tease you and ask you to stay tuned.

I want to thank my partner in this, Jacob Schrieber, who has had the vision and the desire to put more Jewish in the “J” and his volunteer leadership starting with Gary Weinberg who has provided the muscle to do it.  Together we can go from strength to strength and enhance informal Jewish learning and as I have often heard Jacob say — put the joy in Judaism!

Todd Stettner is executive vice-president and chief executive officer of the Jewish Federation of Greater Kansas City. This article originally appeared on the Jewish Federation e-blast and website.

Not just another genocide

I often write about the uniqueness of the Holocaust and state that the Holocaust is completely different from other genocides. This position is controversial to some people. There are those who believe that the only way to preserve the memory of the Holocaust is by making it a universal lesson regarding the tribulations throughout the world. Whether I am right or wrong, only our children and grandchildren will know. Seventy-five years from now, I predict that regardless of Yad Vashem, the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum, and all the other museums and books, the memory of the Holocaust will not be preserved. It will be regarded as just another genocide in the history of genocides.

Unless we preserve the memory of the Holocaust and tie it to Jewish observance and ritual by including the Holocaust in prayer service or as I have done, creating a Holocaust siddur and Haggadah (which is available free on line: holocausthaggadah.com) the Holocaust will become a mere date in history. It has to be tied into a revitalized Judaism to keep it alive. At this point in my life I personally no longer stress the pain, suffering and horrors of the Holocaust. Today I speak of the importance of learning about the heroic individuals who survived the Holocaust to make better lives for themselves and their families. Many Holocaust survivors have created synagogues, yeshivot and day schools and still support them financially. We need to learn about those who resisted the Nazis, not only about the crematoriums. The memory of the Holocaust will be kept alive by future generations if we have pride in the accomplishments of the survivors and preserve Judaism.

This lesson was taught to me by my parents, Jacob and Rachel Rosenberg, and my cousins, Fred and Maria Devinki of blessed memory. I would like to take this opportunity to congratulate my cousin, Sam Devinki, on recently being honored by the U.S. Holocaust Memorial Museum as well as being voted president for life of Kehilath Israel Synagogue. In addition to his immense fundraising for the U.S. Holocaust Memorial Museum and Kehilath Israel Synagogue, he learned from his parents to give with a generous heart. I know he would have wanted his mother, Maria Devinki, to live to see all this. I pray that his parents, in the world to come, are aware of his accomplishments. The Devinki/Pack/Kolkin families are all to be congratulated for their dedication to Judaism.

Rabbi Dr. Bernhard Rosenberg
Edison, N.J.

Disgusted with Brownback

I was angry and upset after reading your article in the May 10 issue of The Chronicle referring to an event “held on the steps of the Kansas capitol and featuring Kansas Gov. Sam Brownback as master of ceremonies.” The event was held in conjunction with the National Day of Prayer, signed into law by President Truman in 1952, with its purpose being to invite people of all faiths to pray for the nation. However, the event in question was organized by a group called the Capitol Commission, a national non-profit devoted to “Reaching Capitol Communities for Christ.” Needless to say, no non-Christian groups were included.

Though I live in Missouri, I am disgusted with Gov. Brownback’s flaunting and imposing his Christian values on the residents of Kansas, a state which is rapidly becoming the brunt of jokes by comics all over the country. I am quite sure if we applied the “What Would Jesus Do” question to his behavior, we could guess the answer.

The fact that Brownback supports Israel is no doubt based on his evangelical belief system, so he gets no points for that. Since he is now not a senator, with the opportunity to help Israel’s cause, we no longer have even that weak reason to give him our support.

As for supporting Jewish causes, Gov. Brownback ignores the basic Jewish tenant of tikkun olam . His relentless efforts to subvert any hope for family planning, plus the gutting of the safety net for many Kansas citizens, attacks on public education and the arts clearly illustrate that repairing the world is of no importance to him.

Separation of church and state? Tikkun olam?  Nah, he’s never heard of either. But I sincerely hope he will hear from Kansas citizens who deplore his stands.

Judy Sherry
Kansas City, Mo.

Mazel tov

My heartfelt mazel tov to Rachael Klein and Elana Nemitoff on their acceptance to Hebrew Union College-Jewish Institute of Religion as students in the rabbinic program. As Rabbi Nemitoff indicated in his comments to the congregation several weeks ago, it was 36 years ago when he and I entered the rabbinic program, leading to our ordination in 1981. I was elated to see that two students from B’nai Jehudah will be entering in the same year once again! I have had the privilege of meeting and speaking with Elana (including at a NFTY-Missouri Valley Chavurah and the 2011 URJ Biennial) and Rachael (at the Hava Nashira Songleaders’ Workshop in Oconomowoc, Wisc., last year). I know that they will both enhance the knowledge, commitment and spirit of the American Jewish community as a continuation of their Jewish involvement until now. Congratulations to their families, and best wishes to each of my future colleagues for hatzlachah —success — as they begin this path of learning and service!

L’shalom,

Rabbi Larry Karol
Las Cruces, N.M.

Always room for improvement

Thank you for reprinting “Why dissent is essential” by Peter Geffen in last week’s issue (May 10). Despite the importance of defending Israel when it is wrongfully accused in the public arena, we have a sacred tradition of being critical of our leaders when they forget the basic tenets of our faith. From the ancient prophets to today’s many non-governmental organizations in Israel and throughout world Jewry who speak out for the poor and those denied basic human rights, one can love Israel and still be critical of some of their policies. Loving our children, family members or friends, doesn’t mean that we don’t point out their flaws to make them better people. We are proud of Israel’s many accomplishments but there is always room for improvement, especially since we have always proudly held ourselves up to a higher standard.

Alan Edelman
Leawood, Kan.

A little-known special

hospital in our midst

ICUs are intended to be short term. It is scary to hear that your situation cannot be accommodated in a regular hospital room and instead calls for a move from ICU to a long-term acute care (LTAC) facility. There are only five such facilities in the metropolitan area, only one of which is conveniently located for most members of the Jewish community.

How fortunate we are to have the Specialty Hospital of Mid-America on 103rd Street just east of Metcalf. It specializes in pulmonary and cardiac care, with a separate unit for Alzheimer patients. Gil Shoham received excellent care in this 54-bed gem staffed by competent and caring physicians, nurses, technicians and support staff. His room, which I was able to decorate with photos and hand-made posters, had a large window overlooking a courtyard with flowering trees. A second bed was brought into his room so that I could be with him around the clock, and both of us were shown the utmost consideration.

No one wants to need an LTAC. However, in the event that you do, turn to the Specialty Hospital of Mid-America with confidence.

Sharon Lowenstein Shoham
Leawood, Kan.

Voice your opinion

We welcome letters to the editor for publication. Letters must include the writer’s full name, address and daytime phone number or email address. Letters are edited for content, style and space.  Send your letters to Editor, Kansas City Jewish Chronicle, 4210 Shawnee Mission Parkway, Suite 314A, Fairway, Kan. 66205 or email .

Don’t sell out our heritage

The JTA News & Features article on the movie plans for “Judah Maccabee” published in The Chronicle April 26 including Mel Gibson’s involvement in it shows that Hollywood Jews are still like the movie moguls during World War II. They fall all over each other praising Gibson and do all they can to dismiss his Holocaust denials and public anti-Semitism. During World War II, the Jews in the movie industry pushed being Americans while shelving any mention of their Jewish roots. It is sad to read that in 2012 that Hollywood Jews who support Gibson refused to be quoted. We can only hope that inner shame caused them to hide their identities.

It may not make a difference to Mr. Holocaust Denier, but we will NEVER see another movie with which he is associated. He will continue to laugh all the way to the bank, and will secretly add thoughts about how money can make Hollywood Jews sell out their own heritage.

Alan and Jackye Goldberg
Overland Park, Kan.

Concert healing salve

I would like to sincerely thank Jill Maidhof, Jacob Schrieber and other staff of the Jewish Community Center for bringing the Yuval Ron Ensemble to the Kansas City area and more particularly, to the JCC on April 3. This group of superb musicians from Jewish, Christian and Muslim backgrounds with roots in the Middle East, does much more than just make beautiful, inspiring music. They provide exactly the kind of healing salve which our conflict-ridden, traumatized world needs, especially in relation to the Middle East where religious tension often stokes the fires of war and aggression originating with political conflict.

I had a chance to talk with Yuval Ron after the show and he shared that he was inspired to start the ensemble after the second intifada in Israel and the Palestinian territories, out of concern for ongoing risk to innocent lives. He didn’t mention which “side” the lives were on. I would say both, but in any case these distinctions were also absent when listening to mostly Hebrew and Arabic songs from all three Abrahamic faiths: the same sense of sacredness and peace pervaded the music from each tradition and judging from the response of the audience — a rather large one for a Tuesday night — I was not alone in appreciating this.

It’s natural to rally around our own tribe/religion/nation when we are under attack and it is probably human nature to hold resentment and anger toward “the other” when members of their group have hurt us. But it’s also natural — even inevitable — to appreciate the humanity in others when we see and hear it in their sacred music and traditions. Then we start looking for a way to connect and work with them rather than finding new ways to fight them. And fuel of resentment, which keeps conflicts burning, begins to die out.

Thanks again to visionaries like Yuval Ron and his troupe for keeping hope and peace alive and to those community leaders who had the vision to see the importance of bringing this precious type of experience to our community.

Shalom, salaam, peace.

Jim Fleming
Kansas City, Mo.

Members of the Kansas City Jewish community took a collective step forward on April 17, with “Powering Our Future: A Community Dialogue.” More than 150 people came to the event, organized by a small group of emerging leaders with an eye on the future of Jewish institutions, organizations and programs.

As a member of the organizing group, EJL 2.0, I can speak to the challenge given to us by the Jewish Federation of Greater Kansas City to create a communitywide conversation about issues we’ve tried to address in the past: Leadership development; engagement; fundraising; effects of interfaith marriage; and creating a Kansas City that’s thriving Jewishly. It’s a tall order, but one that needs attention if our city is to continue its tradition of rich Jewish presence.

Practicality forced us to consider how to create an atmosphere in which there could be constructive dialogue, fueled by thoughtful speakers, and attractive to more than the usual suspects. We needed to attract current leaders of our organizations and congregations, while sending a message that this was an attempt to do things differently. We spent a great deal of time considering how we satisfy expectations of traditional leaders and give a meaningful push to the process of designing for our future.

A great illustration of this challenge comes in how we worked through selection of the venue: Do we use the facilities of the Jewish Community Campus or do we find another space? We considered the probability that choosing a different space might mean losing an audience who prefers familiar and specifically Jewish places; yet staying at the JCC might not reach an audience looking for a new experience. Once the decision was made to try something different, we faced the question of geography: How far will people drive for a weeknight event? Throughout the process, we faced challenges, questions and obstacles but ultimately settled on the Todd Bolender Center for Dance and Creativity, a modern space housed in the old Power House for Union Station. It pushed all the boundaries we’d identified and there were plenty of reasons to pull back from the choice; but ultimately it satisfied one of the most important messages of the evening: It is possible to preserve historic infrastructure while giving a home to something contemporary, all with an eye toward what’s next.

Judging by the turnout, our risk paid off. Participants were treated to an array of talented speakers: Sandy Cardin of the Charles and Lynn Schusterman Philanthropic Network; Eric Rosen of the Kansas City Repertory Theatre; and Marcella Kanfer Rolnick of GoJo Industries (inventor of Purell hand sanitizer) and the Lippman Kanfer Family Foundation. Each speaker talked about effectively shaping their organizations’ futures with respect for their origins; the importance of freshness; and working together differently, rather than working on different things.

The speakers followed a format practiced by the TED organization, in which an idea is conveyed in a talk that lasts no more than 18 minutes. The pace encourages a talk with energy and a clear point, something we believed would make the event more interesting. But the talks and the speakers were there to encourage us to respond, and in order for there to be dialogue, we needed to take those thoughts and ideas into smaller groups and spaces. As an organizer of the event, one of the most exciting things I witnessed between the speakers’ talks and the subsequent breakout sessions was the crowd that stayed when nothing stood between them and an early exit. A huge percentage of attendees commingled in the lobby, engaged in conversations energized by their thoughts; and actively sought the discussion rooms where they’d continue to spark ideas, collaborate and learn applicable processes. We’d managed to do something differently, and the people who trusted us valued the experience enough to stay.

I think there’s power in knowing that about our community: Knowing that we’re not merely creating a future based on generational succession planning, but actually co-creating the programs and institutions with the potential to fulfill our needs and our vision. That’s how we take a vibrant, successful community conversation that began one Tuesday night in April, and fuel the process of respectful change.

(Video of Powering Our Future will be available soon at the Jewish Federation’s website, jewishkansascity.org, and the Powering Our Future group Facebook page. Photos from the event and ongoing conversation are posted as well. Tweets from the event can be retrieved under #jewishfuture and continued tweets and sharing are strongly encouraged.)

Kristin Schultz is a member of EJL (Emerging Jewish Leaders) 2.0, and serves on various boards and committees in the Jewish community and the greater Kansas City area.

As Israel prepares to begin its 65th year of modern-day independence, there can be no disputing that this nation remains confronted with a myriad of challenges and threats to its very existence. But despite the perceived pall of fear and tension which seem to hang eternally over Israel, I can confidently say, as someone who has been blessed to contribute to its modern renaissance, that Israel’s daily reality is one of hope and promise for a brighter future — a reality in which most Israelis live.

Recently, I appeared in a new film which will soon be showing across the world: “Israel Inside: How a Small Nation Makes a Big Difference.” The film attempts to pin down the elusive key characteristics that make modern Israel a nation unlike all other nations.

I’ll name a few: chutzpah, transforming adversity to advantage and powerful family links. While many explanations have been offered as to why our nation has accomplished so much in such a short amount of time and in a challenging and hostile environment, I believe that the issue of national character and personal determination shouldn’t be overlooked.

Undoubtedly, there is an underlying Israeli (or many would say Jewish) characteristic that can only be defined as chutzpah. To the uninitiated, this term is often mistranslated as brashness or even rudeness. Yet, those who truly appreciate what motivates chutzpah know that this is a character trait driven by an unwavering determination to get things done — and ensuring that “no” cannot be the answer. Chutzpah can also be used positively to challenge the status quo and look for new ways to do things better and reject the skepticism of the naysayers. This is a big part of what makes Israel so successful and unique.

I can certainly relate to this character trait — it’s what made me push ahead when I founded Birthright Israel and since then, it’s a vision that I have been blessed to share with hundreds of thousands of young people since the program’s launch.

In the spirit of this film, Israel’s 64th anniversary should be used to dismiss the notion of a modern Israel solely defined by the conflict that surrounds it. In little more than half a century, a country has been created that is a burgeoning haven of scientific innovation, a marketplace of ideas that attracts the world’s leading minds and a center of some of the world’s most contributive medical discoveries.

An arid land of desert and harsh climate has literally been transformed into a leading international exporter of thousands of products to the majority of ports around the globe. Despite the global economic downturn, the Israeli export industry continues to grow and in 2011 recorded $89 billion in sales, a 4.5 percent increase over the previous year.

As clichéd as many might think it to be, the truth is that all of Israel is one big family — in times both good and bad. The concept of a national collective that motivated the establishment of the state demonstrates itself today in the ethos of a national responsibility for fellow citizens and has penetrated into all aspects of Israeli society.

I chided the Jewish establishment when I founded Birthright. My theory was that Jewish identity among American secular Jews would surge if that group felt connected to Israel. And I was right.

Here, I will chide again: Israel’s identity at 64 must be linked to our collective pride in Israel’s accomplishments, and the confidence that we have only revealed a portion of the country’s full national potential. It is for this reason that I threw my lot in with the makers of “Israel Inside,” JerusalemOnlineU.com, a group of innovative American Israelis dedicated to upping the connection of unaffiliated American Jews through paradigm-shifting film education.

Israel gives us many reasons to look forward to another year of our beloved nation’s independence. But most of all we need to remember that now is the time to embrace a new outlook on the Jewish state and ensure that we begin to view her for what she truly is — a nation of remarkable progress, innovation and the very best of downright chutzpah. 

Michael Steinhardt is the Founder of Birthright Israel and a member of the advisory board of JerusalemOnlineU.com. He is featured alongside other leading Jewish and Israeli personalities in the film “Israel Inside,” produced by JerusalemOnlineU.com.

Yesterday I met my pen pal of more than nine years. After the death of my father Sam Nussbaum, z”l, in December of 2002, my mother and I were looking at his files of saved paper clippings and correspondences and we came across a letter sent to my father in April of 1989. It was sent to him by Max Garcia, an architect in San Francisco. They shared something very special in common. They were both liberated on May 6, 1945, from the Ebensee Labor camp in Ebensee, Austria. They were liberated by the “F” Company of the 3rd Cavalry Reconnaissance Group commanded by Gen. George S. Patton, Jr.

I called Mr. Garcia and introduced myself and asked if my father ever responded to his letter. He said he did not. He mentioned that he was in close contact with some members of the 3rd Cavalry. He gave me the name of one member in particular, Mr. Robert Persinger, who lives an hour west of Chicago. I was elated. Although my father chose not to pursue any communication with Mr. Garcia and others who he may have met through him, I decided that I wanted to and that I needed to contact them. I could actually speak to someone who was there on the eventful day. I could speak to someone who saved my father.

In January 2003 I made the call to Mr. Persinger. It was a very emotional moment for me. As it turns out, Mr. Persinger was a platoon sergeant and tank commander. His tank was the first one into the camp. The following are words he spoke at the 60th Anniversary Memorial Service at Ebensee, Austria, on May 6, 2005:

“As we approached on the gravel road to the camp we saw masses of human beings that appeared almost like ghosts standing in mud and filth up to their ankles behind the high wire fence. They were dressed in filthy striped clothes and some in partial clothing barely covering their bodies. They appeared so thin and sickly, it was evident that they were starving. Their bodies were just skin and bones. We stopped our tank and observed for a period of time trying to decide what we would do with the mass of prisoners surrounding our tanks. Both tank crews were hesitant to accept or to make contact with these poor starving individuals. None of us had ever seen human beings in this terrible situation before. We started to toss rations and energy bars to them until our supply was depleted. At first we refused to dismount and wade through the quagmire of mud and around all of the dead bodies. Besides that the stench of all of the dead bodies made it almost unbearable. We had seen terrible sights from combat across Europe but what we were observing was a climax to the things that human beings do to their fellow man. It was beyond anyone’s imagination that such horrible crimes could be committed.

“The Army medical hospitals arrived quickly along with other Army quartermaster units to provide services to get the prisoners on the road to recovery. We stayed with them and helped them for two weeks to nourish them before we received orders to return to the States and prepare for invading Japan with Gen. Patton and his Third Army.”

Mr. Persinger was invited, along with other WWII veterans, to accompany the 2012 March of the Living group that traveled to Poland on April 16. This is the first time the organizers asked veterans to accompany the group. For the 25th time, a group of young Jewish adults on this march will see and hear from survivors and other eye-witnesses what the Nazis did to European Jewry not that long ago. They must bear witness to the atrocities. We must never forget. The world must never forget.

I was honored to personally meet Mr. Persinger and his son Allen as they arrived at JFK airport from Chicago before leaving on the March. We went to dinner and once again I listened to this gentle and humble man relate his memories of that day and how it changed his life. Those memories are etched in his mind forever.

For years we have spoken on the phone and emailed one another. I have sent him gifts every Christmas as a very small token of my family’s appreciation to him for his service to his country and to the survivors whom he directly saved. Unbeknownst to him, he and his comrades helped my father and the other survivors restore their hope in humanity. As I have told him many times over the years, there is a saying in the Talmud which states that “…whoever saves a life it is considered as if he saved an entire world.” (Mishnah Sanhedrin 4:5 Babylonian Talmud Tractate Sanhedrin 37a). He saved my little world.

When I finally met Mr. Persinger, I cried to him. I hugged him. I thanked him over and over again for saving my father and so many others.

But, I miss my biggest hero, my Dad. This thank you was for you Dad.

Bonnie Nussbaum Mannis grew up in Kansas City and is the daughter of Elizabeth Nussbaum and the late Sam Nussbaum. She is a member of the first graduating class of the Hyman Brand Hebrew Academy. She now lives in Scarsdale, N.Y.

Visiting Rabbi Margolies

Shortly before the start of Pesach, I visited at Village Shalom Rabbi Margolies,  our community’s esteemed senior rabbi.   Although ailing, he read with me a Torah portion that bears a resemblance to an issue that is on the minds of most Americans as the Supreme Court accepts the challenge of judicial review of the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act.  I turned to Parashat Ki Sisa and we concentrated on the exigetical definition of the verb yetan.  The rabbi carefully read in Hebrew the phrase containing the mitvah that all who have reached the age of 20 are to be counted in the census and yetan a half shekel of which the wealthy shall not increase and the destitute shall not decrease this amount.

Upon questioning, he responded that yetan, the masculine future form of the verb “to give,”  means “He must give, there is no fooling around here; it is  a matter of equity, a major tenet of the Torah.”   To my question is it a tax?”  the rabbi responded, “It is an offering, but it is a tax.”   We now await the Supreme Court’s decision as to whether the required purchasing of a health care policy is a tax, a penalty or a tax-penalty within the framework of the relevant constitutional clauses.

Harris Winitz
Kansas City, Mo.

As SAFEHOME’s volunteer manager and Jewish outreach coordinator, I would like to thank the Flo Harris Foundation for funding SAFEHOME’s Jewish Outreach Program this past year. This money, and the foundation’s foresight in understanding the importance of this project, helps SAFEHOME save lives. It helps people survive and overcome domestic abuse, one of those topics that no one wants to talk about publicly. It is so important people understand that tragedies result from domestic violence. It’s even more important for me to emphasize these things can and do happen in the Jewish community.

Here’s just one example. On Oct. 27, 2011, The Chronicle published a small article about a murder-suicide that took place on Oct. 18 in Lewisboro, N.Y., a small town in upscale Westchester County. Sam Friedlander killed his wife Amy, his children Gregory and Molly, and then he killed himself.

This horrible incident resonated with me on a number of levels. First, it took place during the Jewish High Holiday season.Second, Westchester County and Johnson County share a similar profile. Third, it affected me because of the amount of outreach I do through SAFEHOME in our own Jewish community. Fourth, it appeared after The Chronicle published an article by Jewish Women’s International regarding the High Holidays and National Domestic Violence Awareness Month both being in October.

Even after such an incident occurs, I’ve discovered people don’t want to talk about domestic violence or even use the label “domestic violence.” Such is the case with the Friedlanders. No one ever used the term domestic violence regarding the Friedlanders, yet descriptive words relating to domestic violence —such as controlling — were used often. Some articles also pointed to past trouble in the relationship when police were called to the home for domestic disturbances.

I tried, with no success, to discuss the Friedlanders with the newspaper reporter there. I wanted to know why domestic violence was never mentioned in any of the newspaper reports of the incident. If I could find references alluding to previous domestic situations, why couldn’t someone else?

I also contacted rabbis, cantors and agencies in New York City and the Westchester County area inquiring whether Jewish agencies do community outreach relating to domestic violence. Once again I hit a brick wall. Very few returned my calls or emails. Two people from Jewish agencies whom I successfully reached mentioned that the murders could have been related to domestic abuse, but the subject was too painful and no one really wanted to talk about it publicly.

Another person from a NY agency told me that domestic violence in the Jewish community was a hard topic for people to discuss. I agree that it’s a very difficult subject. But I’d rather discuss available services and resources for people in domestic violence situations than ways to honor the memory of two children after the fact.

Here in Johnson County a murder-suicide happened not far from Congregation Beth Shalom in January. The senior pastor of the couple’s church contacted me at SAFEHOME, asking me how to incorporate information regarding domestic violence into the eulogy. He wanted the eulogy to include an educational piece about community resources. This Overland Park tragedy also resulted in some of the church’s clergy visiting SAFEHOME to learn more about our services and to see the facility so they could speak knowledgeably during counseling sessions. I continue to feel frustrated and wonder why we have to experience a misfortune or death in order to put laws in place, or in this case, get the word out about available resources and services.

These incidents in Westchester County’s Jewish community and here in Overland Park cause incredible sadness. In the Jewish community, we can hope that the Friedlander legacy will be the knowledge that continued education regarding the prevention of domestic violence is important.

This brings me full circle back to my opening sentence, expressing SAFEHOME’s appreciation to the Flo Harris Foundation for funding the Jewish Outreach Program this past year. It enables SAFEHOME to save lives. We continue to hope others will see the importance of outreach programming, and choose to fund it in the future.

Susan Lebovitz, CVM, is volunteer manager and Jewish outreach coordinator for SAFEHOME. SAFEHOME’s mission is to break the cycle of domestic violence and partner abuse for victims and their children by providing shelter, advocacy, counseling and prevention education in our community.

QUESTION: Even though Passover (Pesach) is just over I would like to ask a seder question. Why do we use a roasted lamb bone on the seder plate? Some people have the tradition of eating lamb and others of not eating lamb at the seder.

ANSWER: The seder plate contains symbols of various aspects of our Exodus experience. The roasted lamb bone reminds us of the paschal lamb offering that took place in the Temple and took place prior to that during the Exodus from Egypt. The lamb was slaughtered on the eve of Passover and eaten as part of the seder Passover evening experience.

A whole variety of traditions have evolved over the years regarding the lamb and the seder. For most people the lamb is strictly a lamb bone, it is roasted or barbecued prior to the seder and simply a plate symbol.

There were traditions in Europe where in some communities people went out of their way to eat lamb at the seder. I must say, however, that these communities were in the minority. Generally speaking most communities forbade eating lamb at the seder because we no longer have a Temple, there is no longer a paschal lamb offering and mixed signals could be picked up by eating lamb at the seder.

Some individuals have gone way beyond that and since the lamb bone is roasted actually do not eat roasted foods at the seder. I have always felt that this is excessive. The tradition is, generally speaking, not to eat roasted lamb and actually it is more a barbecued kind of lamb that was offered at the Temple. To forbid all roasted meats, and some people do, seems quite an extreme interpretation from what was originally just not eating roasted lamb. Nevertheless, I know people that eat only boiled chicken and the like at the seder because of this interpretation.

These are all customs and traditions and not law. They vary from community to community in Europe in that today the grandchildren and great-grandchildren of people with those traditions have carried these customs to our modern day seder.