How A Mother Suffers
By Ellen Portnoy
“How a mother suffers!” My mother would moan every so often when one of us got sick, or misbehaved, or had an accident. Sometimes she would say it in jest when we were all teasing her.
How a mother suffers. These are words that take on so many more nuances when your child lives in a war zone. Or when your child is called up to serve in the military. Or when your child is hurting. My mother-in-law would say, “You are only as happy as your most unhappy child.” That is also true.
In the past two years, I have gone from the highs of motherhood to the lows. And as a mother I am suffering a bit. I say a bit because I know there are parents who are suffering way more than I am. There are mothers whose children are forced to fight for their country against terrorists. There are mothers of children who are taken hostage and have not seen them for six months. There are mothers of children in Gaza who have perished as Israel fights for its existence and Hamas refuses all negotiations, using the people of Gaza and the hostages as shields — forcing many more mothers to suffer.
My suffering is minor compared to theirs. But it still resonates in my heart. When I get off an airplane and turn my phone on to a multitude of messages, including one from my daughter saying, “We are fine. We are in our safe room (bomb shelter).” When I see the news that Iran is bombarding Israel with 340 missiles, drones and bombs. When I feel that rise of panic and bile in my throat because I honestly do not know if she is safe.
Too many times in the last 12 years I have woken up to the same message. “We are fine, we are in our safe room.”
Hamas has been targeting Israel with bombs all these years. Every year, every month, hundreds and thousands of rockets, because their aim is the total destruction of the state of Israel and the death of all Jews. All Jews. And when Hamas is not bombing from the south and west, then Hezbollah bombs from the north. And their rockets are more sophisticated.
Now I see college campuses with ignorant students calling out, “We are Hamas. Free Palestine. All Zionists should die,” without ever mentioning the fact that Hamas started this war. That Hamas raped, murdered and brutalized thousands of people. That Hamas took hostages. That Hamas sent over 20,000 bombs into Israel. That Hamas does not really care about their own people, feeling that they should be martyrs to the cause. Hamas leaders have actually said this — definitely not mothers.
This mother, who has a master’s degree in journalism, suffers when she sees that the media does not report equally on what Israel has suffered, giving more coverage to Gaza. That the media uses information provided by Hamas to report on what is happening. That they believe the lies of Hamas, which we have seen over and over again. And when found in a lie, then puts the truth buried on back pages and not the front pages where they put the lies. When they report what Hamas says and not what Israel says.
I find this type of media coverage despicable, and I wonder what happened in the world that the news is so biased. What happened to reporting equally on both sides and not putting personal opinion or bias in the reports? There are members of the news media who turn my stomach. I can’t imagine why they are allowed on the air. The BBC is one of these media outlets who actually fired some of their so-called reporters because of their biases.
I think of Oct. 7 and the mothers that I know who really suffered. I think of my daughter’s friend whose cousin was murdered at the Nova festival. Three girls went together and only one survived. The one who survived only did so because she hid under the bodies of the dead. The last time Jewish people had to do that was in the Shoah.
How a mother suffers! She suffers through the suffering of her children. She suffers through the suffering of the mothers she knows. She suffers from the callousness of others who say thoughtless words.
This mother is angry that any mother has to suffer. But is also angry at the mothers who did not teach their college-age children about right and wrong. Did not teach them that terrorist groups are not the heroes, they are the villains. A sovereign country has a right to exist. And through all the suffering initiated by Hamas, we will survive.
A mother suffers. A mother is only as happy as her most unhappy child. Many times a mother suffers in silence, not wanting their children to know how much they hurt and worry about them. But this mother is strong, supportive and will survive and can speak out for what is right.
I say Israel has a right to exist. Hamas is a terrorist group whose goal is destruction. Antisemitism is alive on college campuses and in the news media. Enough is enough.
Ellen Portnoy has a master’s degree in journalism from the University of Missouri. She is an active community volunteer who has traveled to Israel many times.
Letter to the editor
By Rabbi Dr. Bernhard Rosenberg
I have taught Holocaust studies for most of my life on the high school and college level. When I discuss the Holocaust and God, I share many possible views. In truth, after having written numerous books on the subject, I don’t have an answer. I cannot in good conscience believe that the Jewish people were punished, because if I believe that, then I would not be a rabbi, and probably be an atheist. One and a half million priceless Jewish children were murdered. What was their sin?
The answer I give myself and others is that mankind caused the Holocaust, not God. It is the only answer I can live with. Yet, I just read Rabbi Avigdor Miller’s “Divine Defense of Hashem: Madness In The Matter of the Holocaust” and remembered my father telling me the Shoah is predicted in the Chumash, the tocheha [curse the Israelites will incur if they don’t follow the commandments). The Holocaust, according to some, occurred because of sinat chinum, hatred of each other.
This is now occurring in Israel and America for the entire world to see. The neo-Nazis and antisemites are having a field day watching Jew fight Jew. We are not only Democrats and Republicans — we are Americans. We are told that both temples were destroyed because of sinat chinum. If someone attacks you with horrible comments, delete them instead of having an ongoing thread of insults.
My students ask me, “Can the Holocaust happen again?” My answer is a definite yes. A number of nuclear bombs thrown at Israel by its enemies would annihilate the Israeli population. One is naïve to believe that antisemitism does not exist throughout the world. If we have learned anything from the Shoah, it is that it is possible for a madman to arise who wants to annihilate the Jewish people. Never fool yourself into believing that you are safe anywhere. We must always be alert and fight against prejudice wherever it may exist. Jew-hatred is an obsession like no other.
Antisemitism simply won’t go away. Hamas is obsessed with murdering Jews and destroying Israel rather than building anything. Even a cursory examination of the cruel attacks on Oct. 7 reveals the obsessive nature of our foe’s implacable hatred.
Please do not call this horrible war a Holocaust. However, the ramification of this war is the same as the Holocaust. Many will seek all their lives for survivors not knowing they are dead or alive.
Iranian leadership, in responding to criticisms of its program to acquire nuclear weapons, sounded much like Hitler when they proclaimed, “Israel must be wiped off the map,” and that the Holocaust is a “myth.”
What’s most amazing to me about this war with Amalek [enemies of Jews] is that the world is still so concerned with the fate of Israel and the small number of Jews in the world who do not even amount to a percentage of error when calculating the world’s population. The rhetoric is apocalyptic, even Biblical. Why care about Israel and the Jews? It must be a spiritual struggle of the generations.
The Torah then has been proven to be incredibly wise in warning us never to forget or worse, to underestimate Amalek, the antisemite — no matter how he may appear.
I predict the college demonstrations on behalf of Hamas and against Jews and Israel on college campuses and other places will become worse and more widespread, and we must have Jewish unity to fight them.
Rabbi Dr. Bernhard Rosenberg grew up in Kansas City and now resides in Edison, New Jersey. He has authored multiple books about the Holocaust.
