I still remember my first Passover Seder — it was the JCRB|AJC Kansas City Unity Seder in 2019. At the time, I wasn’t Jewish, and I was just a year into my marketing job with Jewish Federation, so I was still learning a lot about Judaism.
The Seder was yet another opportunity for me to see the traditions and rituals that I’d heard about but had never experienced.
At that Seder, I was the Child Who Doesn’t Know How To Ask. I was so happy just to observe and absorb.
Fast forward a few years; I’m once again at the Unity Seder, only this time I’m attending as an official Member of the Tribe. Over the years, I had fallen in love with Judaism and its traditions and rituals. The Jewish values resonated with me in a way that my previous religion never had.
Attending my first Seder as a Jew was so meaningful, and it brought many questions. This time, I was most certainly the Simple Child. Yes, the Rabbinic Association’s community conversion class had taught me a lot, but there was still so much that I either didn’t know or hadn’t yet committed to memory.
But I was happy to be the Simple Child; at least now I knew what I didn’t know. And more than that, I relished being able to ask my simple questions. I fully embraced being able to practice and claim my Judaism and say, “This is mine.” I felt proud and privileged to be a part of the Jewish community.
Last Monday, April 15, I once again attended the Unity Seder. To be honest, I might have had more questions at this Seder than I did the last time (it’s amazing how quickly things leave your head when you’re not actively studying them).
However, despite asking “What does Shehecheyanu mean?” and “Am I allowed to break the matzah yet?” I identified as the Wise Child. Through my Jewish conversion journey and after celebrating six years working at Jewish Federation, there are a lot of questions that I know to ask and how to ask them. (And on my good days, I might even know how to answer them.)
At the beginning of the Unity Seder, the question “How is this Seder different?” was posed. Looking back over the years, it’s easy to see, marvel even, at how different I am from that Simple Child reading from her first Haggadah and enjoying her first bowl of matzah ball soup. I no longer feel like a guest at the table — I am a member of the family.
It’s also pretty amazing to realize what is the same. As I sing the songs, say the prayers and practice these ancient rituals, I am still so happy to be here, like I was at that first Seder. And, just as last year, I still feel so proud and privileged to be a Jew.
