This week, we start the fourth book of the Torah, Bamidbar.
Bamidbar means “in the wilderness;” it describes both the geographical and psychological state of the newly formed Nation of Israel. Bamidbar is the most difficult book of the Torah to read because we are in the same place at the close of the book as we were at the beginning — in the wilderness.
Bamidbar is first and foremost about the risk inherent in freedom. The wilderness is the ultimate starting point, the place of complete freedom. All options are open, every direction is accessible. For the first time, we face the freedom trap; though we can go anywhere we want, as soon as we move we collapse all other options, thereby losing our absolute freedom. As Janis Joplin said, “freedom’s just another name for nothing left to lose.”
The first lesson we need to learn is that freedom is not a noun, it is a verb. Freedom is a tool for achieving a holy life, it is a state to be worked towards because it allows us to act in a moral way. We all too often become enamored with our tools and turn them into our goals. Freedom that is not used to pursue the right and good ends up being a mockery of itself and in the end enslaves us. The pursuit of freedom at all costs makes us slaves to freedom.
So where do we lose it? What happens here in the wilderness that makes us slaves of freedom? What lesson are we supposed to learn to avoid being in the same place 40 years from now? The answer is alluded to in the first line of our parsha, where it says that G-d commanded Moshe to take a census of the Children of Israel on the first day of the second month of Israel’s second year in the desert. Eighteen verses later, we are informed that it was accomplished in one day. Ten chapters later, on the 20th day of the second month of our second year in the desert, Israel finally strikes camp, doing their best to actualize the potential that they have been building up for nearly a year in the desert, but it’s too late.
The first lesson of Pesach is that lethargy is the enemy of freedom — matzah turns into chametz by waiting just one second too long. At the beginning of our parsha, we see how quickly Israel can act, performing a national census of over 600,000 men in one day. Yet it then takes them another 20 days to finally start their journey as a nation. This week’s parsha clearly demonstrates our ability to organize and execute complex tasks on a national level with great speed and accuracy, but we are only able to do it when the motivation is external. In order to move forward in life, we need to cultivate the ability to motivate ourselves. As long as we leave our motivation to G-d’s word, we will never be able to realize the freedom he offers us.
Rabbi Yehoshua Ellis grew up in Overland Park and attended HBHA, was an Eagle Scout with Troop 61, and helped restart AZA Chapter #2. He currently is a rabbi in the Jewish Community of Warsaw, Poland, and Chief Rabbi of Katowice, Poland. He can be reached at .
