QUESTION: Can you tell me the difference between Jewish law and Custom?
ANSWER: Jewish law rules and regulations are either mandated by the Torah and/or Bible and regulations made by the rabbis of old in the period of the Mishna and the Talmud. Examples of Torah law are the dietary laws, many of the laws of Shabbat, etc. Laws from the rabbis include things like the second days of the festivals that are observed by Orthodox and Conservative Jews outside of Israel. Similarly, rules and regulations of not using the Shofar on Shabbat, etc. These are all from the Rabbis of old.
Many practices and customs that Jews have today are just that, they are customs. Nevertheless they are deeply rooted and practiced. One has to be careful to understand that customs are just that. They are very important, but they do not have quite the weight that Jewish law does in most instances. Interestingly, over my 50 years in the rabbinate, I have discovered that many people are very rigid about their customs, feeling that other people that do not have them are wrong.
Some examples of customs are: do you stand for the reciting of Kaddish or not? Many people have that tradition, others do not. The Ari, one of the founders of Chasidic Movement in Judaism, did not. Do you recite Kiddush on Friday night totally standing or partially seated? In other words, some people have the tradition of being seated for the second half of the Kiddush.
At a cemetery, at a funeral, does one shovel soil normally or turn the shovel over in shoveling showing reluctance at leaving a beloved who has passed on. Many Jews do, many Jews don’t. It is not a right or wrong.
How long does one wait after eating meat before eating dairy? 72 minutes as Dutch Jews do, or three hours as Western Europeans Jews do, or six hours as many Eastern European descendants do? Finally, five hours and one minute, in other words, a minute into the sixth hour as many Eastern European Jews do? These are not rights or wrongs, these are traditions.
Another custom has to do with Shiva or the seven days of mourning after burial of a loved one. Many people, particularly of Eastern European descent, have the tradition that if the last day of Shiva occurs on a weekday that you walk around the block on the morning of the last day as a sign that you are returning to normal life.
This is very commonly practiced today, although it is unheard of in Western Europe. Jews from Germany, Austria, Switzerland, etc. did not and do not have this custom. I am amazed how many people are shocked that I did not observe that tradition when my parents died. I am a descendant of Austrian and Hungarian Jews and we did not do that.
Laws and customs add a lot of colorful flavor to the Jewish faith. It is very important however to remember that other people might have other viable and correct customs that do not match yours.
Rabbi Mandl is rabbi emeritus at Kehilath Israel Synagogue
