Orthodox, Traditional and Conservative Jews refrain from celebrating joyous occasions, including weddings, during certain days of the seven-week period between the second day of Passover and Shavuot known as the sefirat haomer or “the counting of the omer.”
This tradition goes back to the second century when a plague killed thousands of Rabbi Akiva’s students. In addition to that, many other calamities befell the Jewish people during the spring time period we are discussing. The Crusades, the Inquisition were all at their height around Easter season adding more reason with hundreds of thousands of more deaths to have a period of semi-mourning in the spring months. It is even more appropriate today, with all the evil talk, anger, and racism that we deal with in our country, that we observe a period of semi-mourning to remind us to improve our behavior.
Joyous occasions are usually banned during this period because the “counting of the omer” has evolved into a semi-mourning period for Jews. Originally an agricultural observance, “counting of the omer” is referred to in the Torah in two ways — as an agricultural observance where the first grain harvest was brought at the beginning of Passover, and as the actual counting of the 49 days between Passover and Shavout.
All this came to mind as I recalled the effort many years ago to establish a community-wide agreement on holding weddings during the omer. The policy was developed through the Rabbinical Association of Greater Kansas City in early 1990, and it remains in place today.
The Rabbinical Association developed the policy because several of the newer rabbis in the community wanted such a clarification. I had experienced firsthand the problems of having different rules in different congregations when I was asked to officiate a wedding involving families from both Kehilath Israel and BIAV in the 1980s.
I wrote about the policy for The Chronicle when the association adopted it, but because so many years have passed since then, I thought it worthwhile to remind our community of the existence of the policy and the reasoning behind it.
Here is what I wrote for The Chronicle back then:
Not every one of the 49 days is considered a day of mourning. There are basically three main ways in which the omer is observed. The law required that there be 33 days of prohibition of joyous events. What it doesn›t clearly state is which 33 days.
An exception to this policy would be whether or not to perform a wedding on Israel Independence Day, should that day fall in the 33-day period in which celebrations are banned. The Rabbinical Association has decided to let rabbis decide individually whether or not they will perform weddings on that day.
Even though most Reform congregations will perform weddings for members of their congregations during the omer period, the local pulpit Reform rabbis, all of whom are members of the Rabbinical Association, have agreed not to perform weddings for members of the Orthodox, Conservative or Traditional congregations who might seek them out during this time period.
Since which of the 49 days of the omer are prohibited are not clearly stated, it has become custom for the chief rabbi of the area to determine which days joyous celebration shall be prohibited. According to the book “Mid America’s Promise: A profile of Kansas City Jewry” edited by Dr. Joseph Schultz, there hasn’t been a chief rabbi in Kansas City since the ‘20s, ‘30s and ‘40s when Rabbi Simon Glazer, Rabbi Yehudah Braver, and Rabbi Tibor Stern all served in that position at one time or another.
Rabbi Mandl is rabbi emeritus at Kehilath Israel Synagogue
