We can’t always win. And sometimes we make mistakes. And sometimes we get caught and punished. And sometimes it feels unfair. And sometimes it is just a bad day.
But it still hurts.
Like many of you, Leslie and I watched the Super Bowl with hopeful anticipation. As one quarter rolled into the next, the excitement gave way to loss and sadness.
It was tough. It seemed the referee calls kept going against us. The Chiefs made a few bad plays. We had some injuries. And quite honestly, the Bucs had an incredible defensive plan for the game, stopping Tyreek Hill cold and getting to Patrick Mahomes ... over and over again.
So, while we are unable to bask in the euphoria of back-to-back championships, there are lessons to be learned. Undoubtedly, the Chiefs will watch game film and review and improve. That’s their work.
Our work? Maybe it’s in discovering the value of losing.
To change sports metaphors a bit, as a friend of mine constantly reminds me, in baseball, one is considered a “winner” if they lose 65% of the time.
How can that be?
Well, a player with a .350 batting average (pretty good, right?) is one who is called out 65% of the time. It is in the losing that the player gains experience so s/he can correct the failures. This is what makes sports so fascinating – whether baseball, football, soccer, basketball. It is the human existence played out on the field/court.
We all lose. And we usually think of it in a negative context: “You’re such a loser.”
As a Jewish people, we know so well about failing and losing. It has been a subtext of our history. In fact, from the outside, the Jewish people would seem to be just a bunch of losers. Our story is replete with exile and persecution. In reading the Torah – especially the 40-year journey from Sinai to the Promised Land, how many times did God punish us? Did we ever learn? As we move through the Bible, the prophets were experts in reminding the Jewish people of their shortcomings and failures. We were constantly being told we were losers.
Well, perhaps it is in the losing and failure that we became a strong people, able to withstand outside pressures that toppled empires and civilizations. Judaism somehow survived and thrived. It is as Mark Twain observed, “The Jew saw them all, beat them all, and is now what he always was, exhibiting no decadence, no infirmities of age, no weakening of his parts, no slowing of his energies, no dulling of his alert and aggressive mind. All things are mortal but the Jew; all other forces pass, but he remains. What is the secret of his immortality?”
Perhaps it’s that 65% failure rate. We still end up – as a faith and community – batting .350!
In a way, it the reason we have Israel as a state. It wasn’t what we wanted initially. We knew that the UN Partition Plan was doomed to fail and that we would be cut down. But...that’s not what happened. We learned from our losing. And the result? The State of Israel was born.
The secret of losing is to learn from our “game films” – the ones that play in our heads and our hearts. We learn what we did, how we did it, why we did it...and then change and grow.
That’s what Mahomes said today: “It’s not the end of something. It’s going to be another chapter where we’re going to have to continue to drive to make ourselves better so we’re back in that game.’’
As Kansas City, we believe. We believe in our teams. But, we believe in them because we know they will grow from losing.
Just as we have as a people.
Just as we do...as individuals.
We may lose 65% of the time. But I’ll take a .350 average any day!
Rabbi Nemitoff is senior rabbi at The Temple, Congregation B’nai Jehudah. This commentary first appeared in Rabbi Nemitoff’s e-newsletter to the congregation.
