In a talkback on the report of eight-year-old Naama Margolese getting spat on and called a whore on her way to school in Beit Shemesh for not being dressed what the ultra-Orthodox deem modestly, talkbacker Eleanor says: “This group (the rabbis) must be stopped.” (“Israeli city braces for 10,000-strong protest against exclusion of women, Haaretz.com, Dec. 27, 2011)

Eleanor, unfortunately the “rabbis” will not voluntarily stop. Instead, the police must go, i.e., do their jobs as public servants. Law enforcement and swift crackdown is the only response that will bring the desired results. Not only are the rabbis not going to cede their power, but the perps may not even be taking orders from “above.” I hate to say it, because it’s such an oft-used cliche about another minority, but if the shoe fits, wear it: The only language they understand is that of (police) force.

Does not anyone see the irony in the second paragraph of the article? The protest march venue was moved after Haredim threatened  violence if it was held at Orot Banot? Excuse me? So let’s get this straight: The thugs succeeded in moving the March Against Thuggery by threatening to use violence if their demands aren’t met. Yoo-hoo! Police: Anybody there? Aren’t you the ones who are armed and trained in crowd control, and if necessary, arrest those who commit violence? You certainly had no compunction about doing so in October 2000 against Arabs, did you?

And why does Haaretz insist on describing Naama Margolese as “religiously observant?” What does her level of observance matter? No 8-year-old, or 80-year-old, or anyone of any age or level of observance, of any faith or denomination, should have to undergo bullying anywhere, certainly not on her way to school.

When will we, and the legislature, press, police and other institutions, call a spade a spade? This is bullying, it’s harassment, and it’s assault, all of which we have laws against. Police: enforce, for God’s sake! Today it’s “just” the ultra-Orthodox spitting on the Orthodox; tomorrow it’s the ultra-Orthodox spitting on us all.

Sidebar: My daughter’s youth movement winter camp joined the protest, for which I’m proud. Since the protest was hastily organized only after the camp began, the camp organizers had to go into action quickly and get all the parents’ permission for the kids to protest. I of course gave mine, along with my blessing, but not all the parents did. I’d like to ask those parents two questions:

Where are your kids supposed to learn solidarity with the downtrodden and social activism if not in their youth movement? Where are they supposed to learn about rights, and not letting terror win out, if not from us, their parents?

If you think your neighborhood is safe, that this outrageous behavior is confined to Beit Shemesh (where we, the “enlightened” don’t live), you’re in denial. The Haredim are spreading, and with them their vigilante rule — Coming Soon to a Nice Suburb Near You.

I confess, I was a little scared; I reminded the counselors to watch out for our kids, and I trust them to, although I don’t expect them to hover. But it’s times like these when I remind myself that Tzviya Lubetkin was only 14 when she crawled through the sewers beneath the Warsaw Ghetto to evade the Nazis while delivering arms to the ghetto fighters. I’m not being melodramatic; obviously I’m grateful that my children are spared such scenarios, likely thanks in part to the Tzviya Lubetkins. The point is that if young people during the Holocaust wittingly placed themselves in danger in order to fight for their freedom, then surely we should encourage our kids to take slight, what are really negligible risks, in order to speak out against injustice, should we not?

Yam Erez, formerly Miriam Reiz, is a Kansas City native now residing in Ketura, Israel.

Israel vs. N.Y. Times

Thomas Friedman is right. (“Israeli officials escalate war of words with N.Y. Times, Dec. 22) Even though he did not spell it out, Israel has its own version of the “tea party” in the form of a fringe group of radicals consisting primarily of extreme right wing Orthodox Jews who, even though they represent only 10 percent of Israel’s population, control Netanyahu and his coalition government.

Marvin Fremerman
Springfield, Mo.

I was recently reading a book that reminded me about my first days in the United States. It’s about a group of exceptional women in Liberia who decided to do anything in their power to stop the massacre and the civil war that ultimately destroyed the country. They forced both sides to peacefully stop the bloodshed and start peace negotiations. One of them wrote an amazing book about her journey, in which she tried to explain to Westerners what she had been through. As you can imagine, a big part of her journey was living under the reign of terror.

You might wonder how her life and experiences in war-torn Liberia had anything to do with me, who comes from a progressive, first-world country. As I began planning my work here, I thought of ways to try and explain what happened in Sderot, Israel — a significant and war-torn part of my life — to American ears. As I thought it through, I began to understand so many things that I just couldn’t see in all my years in Israel. I understood how abnormal the situation in Israel is, how far away it is from anything people in the United States or Europe experience in daily life.

And I understood that Liberian woman well.

While Israel is not Liberia, it is a strong, democratic country that can defend itself well. You see more people dead in the streets of New York than you would in Israel. That said, Israelis constantly live in fear of annihilation, and everything we do is focused on preventing our demise.

Can you imagine living your life in constant alert? Every bag that was left on the street is a potential bomb; every suspicious man that gets on the bus is a potential suicide bomber; and every breaking news alert is a potential war. Unfortunately, we are not neurotic or paranoid for nothing.

There are many good things in Israel, lately the attempt is to talk and mention only technological achievements — to show other sides of Israel. I think it’s important, because every Jew can be proud in the state of Israel for that matter, but one needs to know more aspects of Israeli life in order to truly understand why we think and act the way we do. The outside perspective — mostly drawn from watching world news and the public relations Israeli companies are doing to promote Israel’s technological achievements — is not enough for a complete understanding. There are all kinds of truths about Israel, and this is one of them: in Israel there are children who decide where to play based on proximity of the playground to the bomb shelter. These same children know only a reality in which rockets are constantly fired on their homes and schools. For these children, no place is safe, and everyone — even children — must be brave all the time. Many of them become adults overnight. In order to understand that reality, one needs to ask: What if it was me? If those were my kids? My grandkids?

For at least 64 years, the Israelis have faced a harsh reality, and we continue to stand proud in spite of it all. It makes all of us stronger in many ways. We love our country and believe in our just cause. We may not always agree on how to protect it — both the left and the right in Israel believe in what they are doing to ensure the longevity of a Jewish state. So we continue to discuss and debate whether the best way to protect Israel is to sign a peace agreement with the Palestinians right now or to be more suspicious about making peace with this same group. But we all agree that we must protect our country. I guess that’s what any of us would feel when fighting to defend our homes.

This is not an advocacy article; there is no propaganda here. This is a mere testimony of my experiences, and an attempt to give you one more point of view of how people in Israel think.

“Angels at the Table” by Yvette Alt Miller, Continuum Press, $34.95 hardcover, 394 pp.

Yvette Miller is an Orthodox woman in Chicago who grew to become observant over the years, and made Shabbat observance a serious and significant part of her life. She is married with four children, ages 2 to 9, teaches Sunday school, and contributes to Jewish websites.

“Angels at the Table” is really a basic book for the person who has no knowledge about Shabbat and how to observe it or for someone who wants a reference work to any aspect of the 25 hours of Shabbat observance.

The 15 chapters of useful advice provide step by step instructions and include: an overview of Shabbat, the rules and laws of the evening, dinner table blessings, dinner and after, early morning, morning services, lunch, afternoon, Saturday evening, Torah questions for the Shabbat table, songs for Shabbat, activities on Shabbat and 69 traditional recipes.

While the recipes are really good, the style of presenting them leaves something to be desired. Recipes are sometimes simplistic (e.g., “zest the lemon” — grate the lemon’s shiny yellow surface). She neglects to tell readers to preheat the oven and sometimes when cooking on a burner, forgets to mention into what kind of pan to put ingredients.

The book concludes with the blessings after a meal and an appendix.

The details are infinitesimal. For example in the “Shabbat early morning” chapter, she discusses awakening prayers, the mindset, breakfast, dressing (including kippah and tzitzit), women’s hats, modesty, makeup and hair, and the unchanging aspects of Jewish dress and behavior.

Her style is very chatty and personal without being preachy, and that is one aspect of the book that makes it enjoyable to read, even if you know the rules and laws and customs. There is history, there are anecdotes, and the reader really comes to know Miller.

This would be a great gift for someone embarking on conversion or considering becoming observant whose knowledge of Shabbat is rudimentary or to a newly married couple or a family with young children exploring how they want to relate to Shabbat observance.

Here is a typical Shabbat recipe from the book.

Easiest Roast Chicken

Serves 6
1 whole raw chicken
2 Tablespoons olive oil
Large dash salt
Large dash pepper
Large dash garlic powder
1-2 sliced onions
4-5 sliced garlic cloves (optional)
1/4 cup fresh herbs — sage, rosemary, tarragon (optional)
Optional rib:
1 lemon zest and juice
2 Tablespoons virgin olive oil
2 Tablespoon paprika
1 teaspoon cumin
Large dash salt
Large dash pepper
(numbering is mine)

1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees F. Place chicken in a roasting pan, feet side down. Sprinkle with oil, then salt, pepper and garlic powder. Scatter onion slices around the chicken; place a few onion slices in cavity and under skin. (As an option, place garlic and/or herbs under skin too.)

2. Lightly cover chicken with foil, leaving an opening between the foil and pan. Place in oven and bake at 400 degrees F. for 1-2 hours until skin is crisp and golden brown and juices run clear when you prick the chicken above the thigh.

To make rub, grate the shiny skin of the lemon and combine with juice, oil, paprika, cumin, salt and pepper. Spread on chicken skin before roasting.

What are monsters? In storybooks they frequently emerge as strong, wicked, mysterious beings whose purpose is to do harm. In movies, they sometimes look like huge, frightening creatures dripping with venom. In real life, monsters appear as … Oh, wait. They don’t. When we’re young, we’re taught that monsters exist only in stories and fairytales. And, of course, it’s not logical to fear something that isn’t real. I grew up believing that monsters live only where they belong, in books and myths. My experiences as a participant in the Together We Remember program, turned that notion upside down. What I learned is that monsters can in fact become a very real threat to humanity.

Your textbook monster might have green hair, menacing fangs and a giant spiky tail, but that isn’t what makes it evil. The reason monsters are to be feared is their intent. They generally seek personal gain and are willing to stop at nothing to reach their goals. Sometimes monsters believe that their evil behavior is for the good of many, and it may even seem that way to society. So if society approves, then are the monster’s actions truly bad? Before I participated in the Together We Remember learning program and visit to the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum in Washington, D.C., generously funded by Sam Devinki and sponsored by Midwest Center for Holocaust Education and CAJE/Jewish Federation, I believed the answer to that question was relatively straightforward: leaders who have the support of the people are doing their jobs well. Now I’m beginning to learn that this is not always the case.

Hitler and Nazi Germany fit perfectly into the evil leader/public approval model, Hitler being the monster of the Holocaust. Not only did he see no harm in killing millions, he truly believed that in doing so he was improving living conditions for everyone else. I learned that Hitler was an elected official. Not only did the German public not put a stop to what he was doing, they actually elected him into office. Learning that Hitler had such great public support got me thinking — was it really possible that Hitler convinced every person in Germany that killing was acceptable? What if these people had pretended to support him because they saw their peers doing the same and because they were afraid of doing otherwise?

I’ve come to the conclusion that the solution is not slaying the monster, as is portrayed in storybooks, because another monster may very well take its place. To take care of the problem, people — bystanders — must not let themselves become subject to the pressure society puts on them to conform to the social “norm.” Had more bystanders taken a stand against Hitler, they might have been shut down by Nazi power. If everyone together had voiced their true opinions, would Hitler have risen to his position of authority in the first place? In addition to teaching the history of the Holocaust, the Together We Remember learning experience showed 11 ninth-grade students that true courage is standing up for what’s right, even if that means defying public opinion. One person truly can change the world.

Sophia Porter was one of 13 students from the Kansas City area to visit the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum in November as part of the Together We Remember program.

QUESTION: Can you tell me something about when one lights a menorah on Friday night, especially with Shabbat being so early? Also exactly when does one light the Chanukah menorah on Saturday night at the end of Shabbat?

ANSWER: On the Friday night of Chanukah, this year Dec. 23, we always make sure that we light the Chanukah candles before sundown and before the Sabbath candles are lit. It is better not to light the Chanukah candles at all on Friday night than to light them after dark, which is a violation of the Sabbath laws. On Saturday night, Dec. 24, any time after Havdalah after dark, it is permissible to light the Chanukah menorah (chanukiah).

Jewish law requires that on every night of Chanukah, the candles must burn at least one half hour after dark. Since on Friday night we must light the Chanukah candles before Sabbath candlelighting (4:43 p.m.), it is traditional to use larger candles such as Shabbat candles or tall tapers for the chanukiah itself. For Chanukah, one might light either an oil or a candle menorah, the only requirement being that whichever type of light is used, that it be clear and bright.

There has been a great deal of discussion as to the use of an electric chanukiah. Since it is not definite as to whether or not an electric menorah fulfills the obligation of the lighting of Chanukah lights, it is best to avoid the use of such a chanukiah, except for purely decorative purposes.

In general, on a weekday night other than Sabbath night, the Chanukah candles are to be lit approximately at dark. If, however, one is not at home or this time is inconvenient, they can be lit at any time during the entire night. If one has to leave home prior to dark and may not return for the rest of the evening, the Chanukah candles may be lit about an hour before dark, provided that Chanukah lights will burn for a short period of time after dark.

On the first night of Chanukah, which was Tuesday, Dec. 20, three blessings below are recited immediately prior  to the lighting of the candles (not while lighting them). On all other nights, we recite only the first two blessings.

Chanukah candles are placed from the right to left side until finally on the eighth night the chanukiah is full. We light the newest candle first; therefore, we always begin by kindling the candle at the left and proceed toward the right.

The Chanukah candles are to be lit simply for religious reasons and are not to be used for any secular purposes such as lighting other objects, reading lights, etc. However, this limited use of the light applies only during the first half hour of their burning. The rabbis of old determined that the required burning time of a Chanukah candle is one half hour, and after that time, they may be used for any other purpose or even extinguished.

It is customary to place the chanukiah in the window of one’s home, on the main table around which the family gathers, near the door, or any place where lighting of the candles will become a public event.

Bagel Bash origins

We are writing this article to set the record straight, not to take away any kudos from the organizers or sponsoring organizations of Bagel Bash, which was featured in an article Dec. 15.

Bagel Bash was begun about 20 years ago, as they said, but it was first organized by Kehilath Israel Synagogue when Joyce Zeldin was president. We were asked to be advisers to a young adult board including Rusty Krakow, Jordan Zeldin, Nathaniel Pool, Debbie Wacjman and Marsha Friedman. Forgive us if we omitted any names. We planned several social events for young adults and the community was invited to attend. We had been in Denver and read that they had a Christmas Eve party for Jewish young adults that was well attended every years, so we suggested to our committee to try the event here for the greater Kansas City area. It was held at the Princess Garden restaurant on College Boulevard in their party room. Rabbi Herbert Mandl was the mashgiach for the event. We had dinner and one drink for $10 a person and a disc jockey. To our great amazement, 85 young adults came.

The program has evolved over the years with several different organizations and groups planning the event. We are so glad to see how big it has grown and how many organizations are funding it.

Joyce and Harold Koch
Leawood, Kan.

Anti-Semitism on Fox

I have enjoyed the television show House on the Fox Network for many years. I protest the portrayal of the character Chris Taub, a Jewish physician. He is a stereotype; smart, but ineffectual. He is often shown standing between two taller people or in profile, reinforcing the stereotype of little Jews with big noses. On the show, there have been many gibes about Taub’s nose. There is an anti-Taub website complaining about his nose and urging his elimination.

In the Nov. 28 episode, “Perils of Paranoia,” Taub said, “If anarchy breaks out, I plan to do what my ancestors have done throughout the ages: run.” The implication is that Jews are cowards.

Yes, sometimes Jews flee, and the flight may require courage. Sometimes Jews stay and fight, as we celebrate at Chanukah, when a small band of Jewish guerillas beat the most powerful army in the world. If you agree that anti-Semitic jokes are unfunny, send an email to Fox Network at .

Elizabeth Appelbaum, Ph.D.
Overland Park, Kan.

Actions louder than words

With reference to Stu Lewis’s response (Dec. 15) to Lee Levin’s article in the prior week’s (Dec. 8) Chronicle, I agree with Mr. Levin. Mr. Lewis seems to ignore the basic premise of Mr. Levin’s article that while President Obama’s speaks generally flowery words about support for Israel, (said in my opinion to retain Jewish votes and money), his actions demonstrate his and his administration’s absolute anti-Israel bias. Obama’s unrealistic demand that Israel return to “67” borders, (the Arabs hopped on this one with glee), the ongoing diatribes by his State Department, his Secretary of Defense Panetta, and now from his ambassador to Belgium are proof enough that Obama and his administration are basically anti-Israel. These refer only to Obama’s actions in the last few weeks. What will the next weeks, months and 2012 bring? Remember, these are first term actions when Jewish support is probably needed if he is to win re-election. What would be in store for Israel if he gained a second term and not require any further Jewish support? The results could truly be a disaster for Israel.

Mr. Lewis’s letter touches on the Torah (which can always be cherry picked for whatever thesis is being advocated), but he does not touch on the key question in Mr. Levin’s letter, in which he asks why anyone would support Obama based on what he has done. The question remains, “What has Obama actually done, and what does he specifically propose to do, that entitles him to four more years in office?”

Paul Wacknov
Leawood, Kansas

Obama’s values consistent with Judaism

I would like to respond to Lee Levin’s letter (Dec. 8) concerning President Obama. It is true that President Obama has been critical of the current Israeli administration, but so have many Israelis. This does not mean that he has abandoned the U.S.’s commitment to the security of Israel.

Levin asks why anyone would support the president’s re-election bid. Looking at the likely opposition, I can think of a number of factors based on Jewish values:

1. Protection of the environment is an important Torah value, as expressed in Deuteronomy. At least one Republican candidate has vowed to eliminate the EPA.

2. The Torah provides a number of mechanisms to prevent the permanent accumulation of wealth by a handful of people. The president’s opponents don’t seem to believe that this is a problem in the United States.

3. The current leading candidate for the Republican nomination has told unemployed protesters to take a bath and find a job, despite the lack of jobs in the current economy. Can you imagine those words in the mouth of the prophet Isaiah, who taught compassion for the poor and helpless?

4. While abortion-on-demand is not necessarily a Jewish value, our position is far more nuanced that that of the so-called “pro-life” movement that dominates the Republican Party. If any of the Republican candidates gets to make some appointments to the Supreme Court, even the right to abortion to save the mother’s life will not be guaranteed.

While I do not agree with all of President Obama’s positions, I find his values far more consistent with Jewish values than those of his opponents.

Stu Lewis
Prairie Village, Kan.

“I go to Grandma and Grandpa Brown’s for Christmas, help trim the tree, sing carols and then get a lot of presents. And then we go to Grandma and Grandpa Friedman’s to light the Chanukah candles, bake Chanukah cookies and get presents for eight nights,” bragged Josh Solomon, age 6, of New York City to one of his first-grade friends. “That’s not fair,” his friend responded, “I only get presents on one day.”

For Josh and other forward-thinking children, celebrating two holidays may simply seem more of a good thing. But for many parents and grandparents, the issue is more complicated. In fact, the question of how to integrate two religious traditions is likely to drive interfaith couples into counseling. They may minimize the problem when contemplating marriage, but when kids come along, the true emotions surface.

This can be especially tricky around the holidays, when thoughts turn to religion and family traditions. For grandparents of interfaith children, the December holidays can pose a special challenge. They are anxious to share their heritage. But how can they do so without alienating the children’s parents, confusing the kids or offending the other grandparents?

The main ingredient for a peaceful holiday is clear communication — first with your partner, then with your kids and both sets of grandparents. Before the season starts, set aside a time to discuss holiday plans. To what extent will you celebrate each holiday? Will you have a Christmas tree and a menorah? What traditions do you feel strongly about? Grandparents should let the parents know they will not try to convert or force their beliefs on the grandchildren. Sharing the grandchildren of two different religious cultures and visiting two different houses of worship is a tough balancing act for parents and grandparents.

You want your grandchildren to have a positive attitude toward the holidays. Have your grandchildren, step-grandchildren, your children’s in-laws and the parents over for a Chanukah party. Let them share the warmth and spirit in your home. You prepare the latkes, let the grandchildren make the Chanukah cookies. If you have the batter ready in the refrigerator, the children can roll it out and use cookie cutters with Chanukah symbols. Have some colored sugar and candies for decoration. It is satisfying for the child to find the one cookie he has made.

A family tree is another way of presenting Jewish heritage and history to a grandchild. Your history is one of the richest gifts you can give your grandchild. Make a picture album, adding new pictures each year. With younger children, tell the Chanukah story with stick puppets the children have made. Emphasize that Chanukah was the Jewish peoples’ first battle for religious freedom. When it’s time, light the candles in the menorah, say the blessing and sing songs. Don’t forget to have a rousing dreidel game; you can teach everyone how to play. You might have pennies or poker chips to play with and prizes for the winners. The message you’re transmitting is, we can all enjoy and share this holiday. At the same time you are passing down traditions of your Jewish heritage.

Don’t forget about equal time. If you are invited to a Christmas dinner at the other grandparents’ home or a Christmas play at school, make a special effort to go. Most important, don’t try to compete with the other grandparents at this time. This is their holiday, not yours.

Keep in mind that yours is not the only cultural heritage being passed down to your grandchildren.

Ideally, with a grandparent as a good role model, your Jewish heritage can help the child make a choice that will be a fulfilling identity.

Sunie Levin, MEd holds degrees in psychology and education. She has lectured and held workshops around the country, appeared on national T.V. and radio. Her book “Mingled Roots for Jewish Grandparents of Interfaith Grandchildren,” as well as her new book “Make New Friends Live Longer” are available at amazon.com and http://www.makenewfriendslivelonger.com.

Season of thanking and miracles

On Sunday, Nov. 11, more than 50 Jewish educators came together for lunch and a professional development session. The luncheon, provided by an anonymous donor, was designed to express appreciation for the good work of our Jewish school teachers, who devote time, energy and creativity to OUR Jewish children. The program was co-sponsored by Learning for Life and The PJ Library, two initiatives of the Jewish Federation, and the Jewish Family Service’s Family Life Education program.

Following lunch, the professional development session, facilitated by SuEllen Fried and Dr. Blanche Sosland, focused on “cyber-bullying” and peer abuse. Bullying has received a good deal of attention in recent months, and for good reason! It is a problem that parents, children, teachers and others need to tackle together. These two local women are recognized nationally for their work. Last month, the second edition of their landmark study, “Banishing Bullying Behavior: Transforming the Culture of Peer Abuse,” was released.

I want to take this opportunity to recognize all of OUR teachers who don’t always receive the credit they deserve. Since this is the season for thanking and miracles, please make sure that you thank your child/children’s or grandchild/children’s teachers. They change lives every day!

Karen B. Gerson
Director of Informal Jewish
Education — CAJE/Jewish
Federation

Appalling record toward Israel

Poor Alan Edelman! How totally embarrassing it must be for him to have the rug pulled from under his feet just one day after his tribute to President Barak Obama appeared in The Chronicle (Dec. 1. Letters to the Editor). On the very next day, Secretary of Defense Leon Panetta, on behalf of the Obama administration, ordered Israel to “just get back to the damned table” in regard to peace negotiations. Not the Palestinians, of course. Just the Israelis. Not very diplomatic words from the friendly administration Mr. Edelman would have us believe exist. In the very same statement, Panetta ordered that Israel “mend fences” with Turkey and Egypt. Just how Israel was to do this, he failed to say, nor did he mention that Israel would be thrilled to do precisely that if either or both of those countries was accommodating.

He castigates Shoula Romano-Horing for her article pointing out the facts of Obama’s bias against Israel. He offers no facts whatsoever in rebuttal, other than Obama’s demand for tougher sanctions on Iran, which is tangential to the question of Israel. What he does offer in support of Obama is nothing but Obama’s honeyed words, but obviously he cannot offer any deeds to prove his thesis or he would have done so.

Ms. Romano-Horing offered facts to show the indisputable — that Obama is no friend of Israel. There is no need to reiterate them. Facts are facts. On the other hand, Mr. Edelman obviously is a fan of Mary Poppins, believing that a spoonful of sugar will make the bitter pill of Obama’s hostility to Israel go down, but it won’t. We know better. We also know that between now and next election all we will hear from Obama is fulsome support for Israel. That is totally predictable. But they are just words.

Why anyone would vote to re-elect Obama given his appalling track record in office is difficult to understand. I have talked to many of his supporters and none has been able to offer an answer based on any of the things he has done. However, to those to whom Israel is a significant factor in their vote, keep closely in mind that this man, if re-elected, whose actions (not words) have been consistently hostile to Israel, will have absolutely no motive to rein in his animus toward Israel should he have another four years in office.

Lee Levin
Overland Park, Kan.