While this funny argument is of “arguable” origins, it can be said that “you’re right” is one way to say that although you may personally disagree, you really can’t because each one may be “objectively” correct. Further, this argument can be considered on many levels a microcosm of our changing value systems as we share this planet- for now and for future generations. Things/issues may no longer seem to fit into the box civilization created.
Pesach is considered a celebration of “freedom” ;of ability to argue/question/challenge. At Seder, it is often traditional that a child is chosen to recite “The Four Questions.” This tradition often relates to a process of teaching our children early-on the vital importance of “questioning”/ inquisitiveness/creativity/reasoning. Historically this may well relate to reason Jews have been so persecuted as well as reason for having survived thus far. There are many examples of this ability/freedom to question and to challenge that can be found in the Torah and throughout history. Indeed, our very future may rest on ability/freedom to question/challenge.
Whether it be couple relationships, politics, religion or about anything, to question, to challenge, to argue is natural.
As example, in an article discussing arguments among healthy couple relationships, Eva Taylor Grant (Bustle Magazine, Sept. 2018) wrote: “It’s about how that argument is made and how it gets resolved that matters most…compromising where you can and deciding what’s most important: finding common ground or winning an argument.” What are the objectives; what is really desired out of this argument? What are the possible consequences? Indeed, objective listening and searching for common ground may not resolve every conflict as in The Fiddler, but it will help embrace/explain what a conflict represents. The author states that with healthy relationships, objective listening involves compromise and then deciding just what’s most important to the overall picture. She describes how detrimental it becomes to refuse discussion and negate/dismiss opinions other than your own, “If your partner, although frustrated, respects your trepidation and is willing to work through it, that’s a good sign.” About healthy relationships she describes the importance of engaging in healthy arguments, striving to objectively think through matters of concern before discussions that center on objectives and are presented with patience, honesty, compassion, and respect.
How we “progress,” indeed our very future has a lot to do with how well we get along with one another- or not- as individuals and as collective world inhabitants. It’s really up to you.
John Fasbinder
Lenexa, Kansas
