On a recent Friday, the back room of the Princess Garden Chinese restaurant was full of chatter. Men talked and joked, sharing news about their grandchildren and their most recent doctor visits.
This particular group of men is known in the community as the ROMEOs, which stands for Retired Old Men’s Eating Organization (although you might have also heard it referred to as Retired Old Men Eating Out).
Groups getting together to socialize isn’t anything unusual, but there are a few things that set the ROMEOs apart. One is the consistency: they meet every week for lunch and to hear a guest speaker, with the exception of holidays and during the pandemic, where they met via Zoom. Another thing is the number of guest speakers the ROMEOs have welcomed over the years - it’s estimated to be more than 1,000.
One of the most remarkable things about the ROMEOs is the group’s longevity. The lunch at Princess Garden wasn’t just any lunch; the group, which began in 1992, was celebrating its 30th anniversary.
For a group with such a long history, its origin is fairly mundane. The ROMEOs started as a group of four friends who got together for lunch every week. They started inviting a few friends, who also invited a few friends, and the rest is history. The group has approximately 100 members at any given time, and there’s even a waitlist to join. The lunch at Princess Garden brought together 64 members, the largest number they’ve had in a long time.
Bob DeWitt, who’s been a member for the last 16 years, said potential members used to have to wait two or three years to join but, as the group collectively gets older, they now take in new members every year. Space opens up when members move (such as former chairman Andy Hilvitz, who is moving to Florida soon) or pass away.
Generally, members are over 60, although chairman Allan Kaufman says the average age is probably higher. The oldest ROMEO is Mike Katzman, who is 101. The group sitting at the head table at the April luncheon were all in their 90s. DeWitt said there used to be a special dinner for the members who reached 90, but they don’t do that anymore.
“People are living longer now,” he said.
Although the ROMEOs have lost a lot of members over the years — which is to be expected for a retired men's group — it still continues to grow, which says a lot about its longevity and sustainability.
“It’s an organization that everyone enjoys… and it’s an organization that can go for years and years,” member Richard Silberg said.
Silberg has been a member for 29 of the group’s 30 years, joining when there were just 10 members. He’s the closest thing to an original member (the four “founders” have all passed).
More than just lunch
DeWitt says the club isn’t officially a Jewish organization, although many people think it is. There are a handful of non-Jewish men in the group.
“We are one of the only clubs in Kansas City that has members from all walks of life,” said former chairman Andy Hilvitz. The ROMEOs brings together men from different personal and professional backgrounds, denominations, etc.
The ROMEOs is a group with no bylaws or dues, just a one-time “membership fee” of $50 that gets members a ROMEOs shirt, hat and name tag. The ROMEOs say there are no officers, just volunteers, and it takes a lot of volunteers to keep the group running smoothly.
Although the men who help are volunteers and not elected officers, they each have titles. Current “volunteers” include chairman Allan Kaufman, treasurer Howard Noah, speaker coordinator Vic Surhoff, restaurant coordinator Herb Simon, greeters and lunch money collectors Steve Becker and Steve Schorr, email notifier and sound system manager Bill Schlosberg, telephone announcement and reservation manager Howard Eichenwald, membership coordinator Marshall Widman, plaques and certificates creator Bob Becker, and Dewitt, who is the group’s quizmaster and joke teller.
At the 30th anniversary lunch, several members were recognized for their long-term positions. Among those honored were Hilvitz for his 10 years as chairman, Silberg for serving as greeter and lunch money collector from 1993 to 2001, and David Weinstein, who served as treasurer for the past 10 years.
“It’s a good feeling that you’re helping the group stay together and make it all run,” Weinstein said as he accepted his certificate.
The premise of the ROMEOs might be simple, but meeting weekly for lunch and fellowship over the past three decades has grown into something bigger than sharing meals together.
“I have made a lot of friends,” Weinstein said. “It’s a very close group. We feel like brothers.”
By Lacey Storer, Assistant Editor
