Chapel names new manager
Imagine being a 20-year-old about to graduate from junior college and wondering what to do next. Your first thought is to take a year off and figure it out. But your dad has other ideas. He asks you if you’ve ever thought about the funeral industry.
What?!
“Why in the hell would I think that? Where did that come from?” you ask.
Your dad says that’s something he always wanted to do. After talking it over, you tell your dad you’ll think about it. Then on spring break, you go to Joplin, Missouri, where your dad has a good friend who owns a funeral home and spend a weekend working there, helping the director — and it doesn’t bother you at all. So, you give it some more thought and discover there’s a mortuary school in Dallas 600 miles from home — a 10-hour drive at the time.
Marc Williams, chapel manager and funeral director at Louis Memorial Chapel, said this is exactly how he came to be in the funeral industry. Now, after 48 years in the business — 28 ½ of those with Louis — he’s retiring.
Williams is not Jewish, but Louis funeral home owner/operator Henry Epstein said, “Marc has served multi-generational Jewish families in Kansas City with a professional respect and full understanding of Jewish funeral traditions. He cares deeply for people, and he has the ability to visit with anyone on any given topic.
“Every day Marc came into the chapel, it was with enthusiasm, professionalism and integrity. We will miss his jokes, laughter and just being with him at a family’s most difficult time.”
Ending up in a big city a long way away from home for mortuary school was a big change for Williams. He grew up in Marshfield, Missouri, a town of 2,200 people, and went to junior college in Lexington, Missouri, a town of 5,500 people.
In Dallas, he rented an apartment because the school did not have dormitories. Classes were 7:30 a.m. to 12:20 p.m. Monday through Friday for one straight year.
When he graduated, he worked for George C. Carson & Sons in Independence, Missouri, for two years, then for D.W. Newcomer’s Sons in Kansas City for 17 years. For a while after that, he worked for a small firm in Chillicothe, Missouri, but he was not happy there; it was too far from home.
Then he saw a newspaper ad for a funeral director, but it had no name — just a box number. So, he sent in his resume. He didn’t hear for a long time, and then got a call from Stan Louis, the owner at that time of Louis Memorial Chapel. Williams went in for an interview and Louis offered him a job on the spot.
“And the rest, as they say, is history,” he said.
The only similarities between a Jewish funeral home and a non-Jewish funeral home are that the directors receive the death call, they work with the family and have a funeral. Everything else is unique he said — all religious aspects and attitude toward death.
“A person dies and we take care of the body, but religiously it’s totally different because gentiles will wait a week or two before they have a funeral; they’ll have a day or two of visitation, open caskets and embalming — we don’t do that stuff here,” said Williams.
Williams knew nothing about Jewish funerals when he started at Louis Memorial Chapel, but Louis was his mentor. He could go to him with any question and Louis would answer.
“But it was a head-scratcher trying to remember how to pronounce something,” he said. “Now, if anybody says ‘you know a lot about Judaism,’ I say no I don’t. I know very little about Judaism. I know what I need to know for the burial of a Jewish person.”
During this pandemic, Williams said it’s been very difficult because they can’t meet with the families in person. They meet them for the first time at the gravesite.
“It makes our job harder because we don’t get to see them in person. All these people I’ve known for years, I haven’t seen them in a year because we don’t have indoor funerals; they’re all graveside services,” he said.
In addition, some families are trying to feature the funeral service on Zoom from a rural area where there are no hot spots, no internet connection. “So, it’s been a challenge for us,” said Williams.
Dealing with Death
Williams said without a sense of humor, the job of funeral director would drive a person insane. “I’ve told many people who are thinking about getting into this business, if you’re not nuts and crazy and off-centered and whacko, you’ll never make it in this business because it will drive you crazy. You just have to have a strong will.”
During his years in the funeral industry, Williams has seen every type of death imaginable, and even some you can’t imagine (grain mill explosions, airplane crashes, bulldozers rolling over on people). “Pick a subject and I’ve seen it at least twice,” he said. “So, it’s not easy, and you have to deal with the families who are grieving through all that stuff as well. Families look to us for comfort, that’s what we’re here for, and we treat them all the same; nobody gets special treatment.”
People in the funeral industry have to be able to get away from it; they have to be able to walk out the door and let work stay at work. Williams said it took him a long time to figure out how to do that.
Williams dealt with bodies from the July 1981 Hyatt Regency disaster as well. He said when you go through something like that, you have to stop and have several beers on your way home. One of the funeral directors got stopped on his way home for drunk driving. He told the police officer he was in the funeral business and had been really busy all weekend. The officer just said, “Go home,” and didn’t issue a ticket.
Retirement
With Williams’ retirement, Steve Reiter has assumed the role of chapel manager. He’s been with Louis Memorial since 2016.
He told The Chronicle that after 25 years in the funeral business, when he came to Louis, he realized quickly he still had so much more to learn.
“Marc took the time to teach me all about the Jewish funeral traditions. He answered all my questions, and there were a lot of them,” he said. “Marc always had a sense of humor and made even the rough days much lighter.”
Williams’ last day at Louis is March 12, which happens to be his 70th birthday.
“I’ll probably miss it for a while, but I’ve been doing this for over 48 years. I’m tired; I think I’ve paid my dues,” he said.
He plans to spend lots of time with his grandchildren. He and his wife, Brenda, have a 12-year-old granddaughter, a grandson and granddaughter, both age 7, and a grandson who just turned 3.
“As they’re growing up and doing their things, we can attend. My oldest grandson plays football and basketball; some of his games I’ve gotten to see, some I’ve had to miss,” said Williams. “I missed a lot of things when my kids were growing up just because I was in the funeral business. That’s life, but it’s my turn now.”
He’s made a lot of friends during his career. “It’s been a great ride.”
