“Many of us are able to be parents, because we can afford to be.”
Rabbi Idit Solomon, CEO of Hasidah, a Jewish fertility organization, told me this and it floored me. I had never thought of building a family in this way. She wasn’t talking about the cost of the cute onesie, or of the matching nursery set, or even the average cost to see your women’s health care provider.
She was discussing the financial and emotional stress of infertility, the cost of treatments that may not work, the toll this may take on your mental health, your relationships, and even your livelihood.
These words rang in my head when I was asked to present at the First Annual Jewish Fertility Support Summit, on the topic of the financial cost of infertility, and what more we can be doing for the greater Jewish community.
On Feb. 22, more than 2,000 individuals and couples attended the First Annual Jewish Fertility Support Summit. With 13 organizations presenting, I was honored to represent Kansas City and the Priya Fund. This wasn’t your average summit; we didn’t lecture on the startling statistics, or discuss the financial cost of treatments, adoption, surrogacy, or alternative medicine.
We came together as a Jewish community to support those suffering from infertility with empathy, care, and open arms. The hosts of this program, Aimee Baron, creator of the popular Instagram account “I Was Supposed to Have a Baby,” and Ariele Mortkowitz of Svivah, a Jewish women’s network, were clear that they wanted this event to feel like the largest virtual group hug we could possibly give, and I think we achieved just that.
Each presenter answered a conversational interview question to engage the audience. We were not to discuss our organizations, programmatic offerings or statistics, but rather to show up as ourselves as members of the infertility community. Topics ranged from faith and fertility to community support, to the stigma that exists in the Jewish community. Participants responding in the chat shared their stories of pregnancy loss, difficulties with treatment, financial struggles, and the list went on.
When it was my turn, I spoke on several points. The literal financial cost of infertility, the emotional cost of infertility, and the cost to the continuity of the Jewish people and the future of the Jewish community as a whole.
We are so incredibly blessed to have Priya in our community to uplift people on their family-building journeys. We are so privileged to have a generous community that funds this program and sustains the Priya fund.
But what more can we do to aid individuals and families suffering from infertility? Not just in Kansas City, but as a universal Jewish community. If we believe in the continuity of the Jewish people, grants to help pay for family building need to be equally as available as scholarships for preschool, camp, religious school, trips to Israel, and all of the opportunities Jewish children receive.
