By Dahlia Cukierkorn
2020 Margolis Essay Contest and Scholarship Winner
A respect for the diverse beliefs and unique contributions of all the world’s faiths is one of the hallmarks of interfaith relations. Interfaith relations help society as a whole by producing better mutual understanding among the believers of different religions, strengthened faiths and beliefs, more love for others, deeper learning and more common dignity and values in addition to encouraging work together for the common good. This essay is written in loving memory of my Muslim best friend Rania Bouzahzah, who was taken from us too soon and whose memory will always be a blessing in my heart. Rania brought four families of different faiths together. Despite our many differences, we were all united by the universal feeling of all faiths which was love for our beautiful girl Rania.
It was a seemingly normal day, 8th grade, 2nd hour Mrs. Heil’s class. I had just set down my pencil bag when I heard the crunchy mixture of carpet and crutches. The clang of the crutches on the metal part of my desk validated that it was the girl across from me, Rania. My good friend I had met in 6th grade and became friends with in 7th grade because we would snicker at the teacher and our classmates in science class. The Disney fanatic and Trivia Crack connoisseur. I gave her a sympathetic look and she smiled, the rest of our table was curious to know what was up with the crutches. She told us she was racing up to her apartment and fell and hit her shin really hard on the cement stairs leading up to her apartment. She said it hurt really bad and almost cried recalling the event, saying she was going to get it checked out because her dad was concerned. I selfishly wondered if this meant she wouldn’t be able to come to my pool party that upcoming weekend.
As my guests arrived in waves, Rania was nowhere to be found, I was anxious to cut the cake but I didn’t want to do it without all my guests present. I didn’t think much of it though because I was so excited to go and swim! We swam for 2 hours or so and we were all pretty hungry by that time. My mom had been approached by a man I didn’t know and they seemed to be engaged in a pretty serious conversation. That worried me but again, I was infused with pizza and pool water so I didn’t mind much. A few minutes later, the man returned with Rania, but she was wearing clothes and a sturdier cast than the last time I saw her. Although her dad had said she couldn’t get her cast wet, 15 minutes after he left she was drenched! That remains one of my favorite memories because she was so irrevocably happy.
Once the party had finished and we were in the car on the way home, my mom said she had to talk to me with an unforgettable look in her eye. She gripped the steering wheel and told me that Rania most likely had sarcoma, bone cancer. I will never forget the way I felt, like my body had split in two. I was inconsolable, my only response being a floodgate of tears. From then on, my perspective on life was forever changed. The first thought that came to my mind was what can I do? How can I be of help to my friend? I started out by asking my dad, who is a rabbi, to put her on the prayer list for the sick that is recited weekly in our synagogue.
News of Rania’s illness spread about the school, and pretty soon my friends, Halley and Emily, reached out to Rania’s family. Together with our families, we all became a team. Sadly Rania’s illness was progressing, making her sicker and weaker. Initially her mom was able to take care of her but as she became sicker her dad started missing work to help manage the necessary medical appointments. As a result, he lost his job (on his birthday I might add).
Throughout this time, Emily, Halley, and I were visiting often, being the only social interaction other than her family and physicians to Rania. Most visits were all 4 of our families crammed into her small apartment, all seated except her mom who always stood. Her parents always offered us dinner, snacks, even bowls of cereal. When we would leave, her dad would stuff our pockets with Lindor truffles. We would stay for about an hour, but even that was very tiring for Rania and her tolerance only got shorter. Along with her getting sicker, medical bills piled up, and her parents were struggling to make ends meet. Looks of worry were becoming her parents resting faces, her mom aging 20 years in the span of a couple of months.
Emily, Halley, and I decided we needed to do something to help raise money, find her dad a job, and get the community involved. Two fifteen year olds and one fourteen year old had to be pretty tactful in raising money because we weren’t old enough to generate income of our own. After brainstorming in my backyard, the 3 of us formulated a plan; a lemonade stand. We worked out the logistics with our families and decided, we would do it the first Saturday school was out for summer. We spread the word as much as we could using social media, word of mouth, etc. My dad’s best friend, Bill Tammeus, who is a retired journalist and writes the blog Faith Matters, wrote about our lemonade stand. His story focused on the power of love and friendship even when there are differences in faith. Rania was Muslim, I am Jewish, Halley is Catholic and Emily is Protestant. Our common denominator was the love that we had for one another and that love was sustaining a family in crisis because it brought them peace and a feeling of being cared for. Our differences didn’t matter, we were brought together by human experience and an intense love for Rania. Bill’s blog is read by many people in the community which made our lemonade stand a big success. We were even on the local TV news! We were sure this would raise money for her family and generate a job for her father. While we had raised thousands of dollars in person and thousands more on the gofundme, no such luck in the job department. Even so, Rania’s family was so thankful, they invited our families to a traditional Morrocan meal, what they really should’ve called it was a feast. Meats, rices, sweets, all sorts of traditional Morrocan food bursting with vibrant colors with a smell that wafted across the street. Moments like those are the ones I remember fondly when I miss her the most.
We continued to help Rania’s family as much as we could. Eventually her family made the difficult decision to move to Belgium where her extended family lived. They needed to be close to her dad’s family because they needed their love and support. Rania’s father would be able to find a job with help from his family and Rania would be eligible for some experimental treatment because she had a rare form of cancer that was usually terminal. The day we went to the airport to see her off, I remember trying to swallow the hard reality. The heavy feeling of knowing that this was the last time I was going to see my Disney girl. The girl that we had put all of our love into for the better part of a year. One of my closest friends, my angel. I was devastated but she reassured me in her spunky, positive way that we would see each other again. Unfortunately, that was not the case. I am so thankful I got to say that goodbye.
When we found out she had passed away, I had a period of reflection. Above all I reflected about interfaith relations. I thought about the impact of our friendship and love, how it guided our actions. I wish that others would experience that kind of interfaith love that we all felt for Rania, then they would not be ignorant and hold animosity for different religions, cultures and ethnic groups. Interfaith relations enrich human relations with all that is good, uplifting and just. I am so thankful that Rania was a part of my life because it taught me so much about myself and the world and what I want for society. I want love and acceptance for people from all different walks of life because everybody no matter their religion has value and a story.