Hillary Light Merryfield beams with pride as she points to the 1,055 photos of adopted children displayed on two of the four walls in her Overland Park office.
A licensed clinical social worker, Merryfield opened her own adoption agency in 1986 and has been placing children in loving homes ever since. Adoption Option, Inc., a nonprofit organization, is the product of her passion for building forever families.
“It’s exciting to see these tiny babies, and now they’re teenagers, or I’ve been invited to their weddings,” Merryfield said. “I love meeting people and helping families grow.”
The local adoption expert will share her experiences June 4 at the next meeting of Bloom, an infertility support group, which will meet at the Jewish Community Campus Board Room.
Merryfield got her start in the hospice field, but made the switch to adoption after the birth of her first child. Needing a break from the emotional toll of working with death and and dying, she said she helped a friend write adoption home studies and recognized a common theme.
“Immediately, it felt comfortable and familiar,” Merryfield said. “Most adoptive families have grief and loss from infertility and the loss of that traditional or ideal parenting journey.”
Advocating for Missouri and Kansas families, along with counseling birth mothers and adoptees across the country, is the core of Merryfield’s work. She said she places a special focus on the emotional and social needs of birth mothers, who are often a forgotten piece in the adoption puzzle.
“A lot of them struggle with guilt when what they did was a very loving decision,” Merryfield said. “I’ve never met a birth mother who didn’t want to parent their baby.”
Adoption Option also hosts a free birth mother support group on the last Tuesday of every month, as well as an annual potluck to bring birth mothers and adoptive families together.
Merryfield said the hardest part of her job is remaining flexible as requirements and regulations evolve. She has observed many changes over the years, with the biggest being a shift toward almost exclusively open adoptions where some level of contact is maintained between all parties. Since the legalization of same-sex marriage, Merryfield has also watched different definitions of family emerge.
Adoption Option has always welcomed adoptive families of all types — regardless of their race, religion or sexual preference, according to Merryfield. She credits her Jewish upbringing with giving her an appreciation for diversity when matching families.
“I care more about who they are, their core values, what’s important to them as parents and that they understand the special issues related to adoption,” she said.
Merryfield’s upcoming question-and-answer session at Bloom offers an opportunity to learn about the unique challenges and benefits of adoption. Bloom is sponsored by Priya: Growing Jewish Families, a community initiative that provides resources and financial assistance to Jewish families who are pursuing adoption and fertility treatments.
Priya Director Annie Glickman said education is an important part of the program’s mission.
“One of our main goals includes reducing the stigma of infertility and adoption so that our Jewish community can be a warm and welcoming environment that embraces all paths to parenthood,” Glickman said.
Priya clients Gil and Irit Porat are currently pursuing adoption. Irit Porat said the most difficult part of the process is waiting to be matched with a birth mother, but knowing where to start proved difficult in the beginning.
“It is only because of Priya that we were able to overcome the overwhelming amount of information out there and make the right decisions for our family,” Irit Porat said.
Porat and her husband plan to attend Merryfield’s upcoming presentation, saying they are thankful to have a safe space for dialogue about a sometimes taboo topic.
“Opening the discussion about adoption is an important step toward understanding,” Irit Porat said.
To find out more about Adoption Option, visit adoptionoptionkc.com, or call Merryfield at 913-642-7900. In addition to adoption services, Merryfield has a private psychotherapy practice and is a clinical hypnotherapist.
For adoption resources and support, visit priyakc.org, or contact Priya’s Family Consultant Sarah Albin at 913-730-1425.