Debra Porter Gill is fortunate Martha Gershun is a devoted reader of The Kansas City Jewish Chronicle.
Gill needs a kidney transplant and she told her story in the Dec. 28, 2017, issue of The Chronicle in hopes of finding a donor. As luck would have it, some may call it beshert (meant to be), Gershun read the article and decided to get tested. It turns out Gershun’s kidneys are a near perfect match, and she will donate a kidney to Gill when they both undergo surgery on Sept. 18, the day of Kol Nidre, at Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota.
This will be the second time around for Gill, who had received a double organ transplant of a kidney and a pancreas almost 19 years ago. Until early 2016, both transplanted organs worked well and Gill went on to lead a normal life. But in early 2016 she started having kidney issues. By the fall of 2017, Gill was placed on the waiting list for a deceased donor kidney. She still felt pretty strong and didn’t feel the effects yet.
“I knew what was coming and I knew that it was only a matter of time before I started feeling sick,” Gill wrote in a recent Facebook post. “I also knew that the wait time on the list was anywhere from five to seven years or longer. That was time I didn’t have.”
Doing what she could to control her own destiny, Gill contacted The Chronicle late last year. She suggested a follow-up story to the one published after her first transplant in 1999.
“It took me a long time to go public with it because I don’t like being seen as sick or weak,” she said. “But I needed to get the word out that donors are needed in general. The Jewish community needs to know there are a lot of people waiting for organs. This involved more than just me.”
Even though Gershun specifically offered to be tested to donate to Gill, when it turned out she was a match, the transplant team at Mayo relied on privacy protocols and did not divulge Gershun’s name to Gill. The women met because Gershun reached out to Gill on Facebook.
“At that time, I didn’t even know I had a donor yet. They hadn’t called me to tell me,” said Gill, who could barely believe it when she read the message from Martha.
She didn’t get the official word from Mayo until weeks after she and Martha met for lunch. Gill was also then told that several people from the community had stepped forward and asked to be tested to see whether they matched her.
Becoming a donor
The Chronicle article about Gill reminded Gershun of a dear cousin who years ago had received a kidney from a living donor. That act of kindness was important to the family. So in honor of her cousin, Gershun decided to pursue becoming a donor.
Taking things a step at a time, Gershun first discussed the idea with her husband, Don Goldman. Eventually she also spoke with both of their adult children.
“I thought, I’m probably too old, I’m probably not a match,” she said. “But everybody who can try should try.”
Many vials of blood later, Gershun said she got a call and was told, “ ‘You’re a perfect match.’ I knew it was meant to be.”
This isn’t the first time Gershun has sought to help others. Now retired, she has worked with nonprofits, serving as executive director of the national Reach Out and Read National Center in Boston and as the leader of Jackson County CASA. Today she spends countless hours volunteering for a variety of causes.
Twenty-three years ago, Gershun joined a bone marrow registry and was told she “very closely matched” with a 6-year-old girl who was suffering from aplastic anemia. At the time, the girl was not yet ready for a transplant and as it turns out, the call never came to donate her bone marrow. At age 61, Gershun’s bone marrow had gotten too old.
Prepping for surgery
After completing some online applications, Gershun was able to do the first round of blood work here. While she was originally concerned her age might be a problem, Gill was worried about the same thing regarding her donor.
“I asked about that because I want the kidney to last a long time,” the 57-year-old Gill said. “It’s a major surgery and they said they have found that under 65 there is really no difference in the longevity of a kidney.”
Gershun is impressed with the transplant process.
“They are very concerned about my well-being,” she said. “I spent three days undergoing medical tests at Mayo to be sure my kidney was healthy and I was healthy enough to donate. I met with social workers, too. At every appointment, they said: ‘You are having surgery you do not need. … You can back out at any time. …’ So you must keep saying over and over, ‘This is something I want to do.’ ”
Each woman has a separate transplant team, which includes surgeons, doctors, nurses and coordinators. The two teams never interact, nor do they ever meet the other patient.
Each patient has her own team looking out for her best interest and medical safety.
“My team is never supposed to be worried about Deb’s health or even know about it,” Gershun explained. “If I’m at risk, they are not supposed to do anything that would harm me, no matter how badly she needs my kidney.”
According to Mayo, when a kidney is transplanted from a living donor, the donor’s remaining kidney enlarges to take over the work of two. As with any major operation, there is a chance of complications. But kidney donors have the same life expectancy and overall health as the general population.
Costs for living donor surgery, hospitalization, diagnostic tests and evaluation usually are paid by the recipient’s insurance. Travel and living expenses are typically not covered, though there are programs to assist donors with those costs if needed.
Following the transplant, Gill will likely spend four to six days in the hospital. Most kidney transplant recipients can return to work and other normal activities within three to eight weeks after transplant.
Gershun will spend two nights in the hospital. Most kidney donors resume normal activities after four to six weeks, depending on the physical demands of their daily living and work tasks.
“If we were doing this in Kansas City, we could both go home after we get out of the hospital, but because we are far away, they ask us to stay in Rochester so that we can be checked out on a daily basis,” Gill explained.
Once she is discharged from the hospital, Gershun will stay in a hotel for several days because it’s a six-hour drive home. At one of their lunches together, Gill advised her new friend, and the woman she refers to as her “kidney sista,” not to leave Minnesota “until she feels comfortable and sure that she’s not worried about anything.”
After Gill is discharged from Mayo following the transplant, she needs to remain close to the hospital so she can be closely monitored for four to six weeks. Therefore she will live in a condo-type hotel where she can get back to “more of a normal life but still be in walking distance to the hospital.”
Gill and her significant other, George Mallinckrodt, are ready to go to Minnesota for the surgery. Over the past year and a half, they have both seen her general health slowly deteriorate. Her strength has decreased greatly, her skin is now covered with bruises from the slightest bump, she’s anemic, and worst of all, her lower extremities are usually swollen to twice their size, which makes getting up and walking very difficult.
“None of us know how long we will live but, because of Martha’s selfless act, I know that my immediate future looks brighter than it has in a while and I can make plans to live life again,” Gill said. “There are no words to express what I feel for her and for what she is giving to me.”
Signing a donor card
People are always asking her why someone would want to give her one of their healthy kidneys, Gill said.
“I don’t know but I’m damn grateful,” Gill said last month. “I just felt like if I put it out there into the universe, someone would step forward. If it was meant to be, it would be. Martha is a really good person and she’s giving the single most important gift she can give; the gift of life. Right now I’m really not feeling well. When I met Martha, I really felt good and strong and I was going a mile a minute and that’s why we waited until September to do the transplant. We just took out our calendars like we were finding a date for lunch. we both like the month of September and when we saw that the date we had chosen was Yom Kippur, we knew that was the day.”
Gill said living donors are more prevalent than most people realize.
“Martha and I probably know eight to 10 people who have donated kidneys,” she said.
One is Aaron Nielsenschultz, a former member of Congregation Beth Torah who last year donated a kidney to a member of his congregation in Philadelphia.
Both women know that not everyone is willing or able to become a living organ donor. But they feel everyone who is able should donate their organs at the time of their death.
“If everyone did that, there would be less need for living donors and it still wouldn’t cover everybody,” Gill said.
Gershun added, “Being a living kidney donor is a really personal decision, but I am eager to inspire people to donate organs after their death. I feel very comfortable pushing that. Every Jew should be willing to do that.”