Louis Memorial Chapel, the only Jewish funeral home in the Kansas City area, now sells monuments, also known as grave markers or headstones.
Louis’ Henry Epstein said the service was added after listening to families’ needs.
“Funeral service is changing tremendously and we’ve had major paradigm shifts. One of the major paradigm shifts is families, when they come in to make arrangements or make prearrangements, etc. really want to do everything at one time,” Epstein explained.
A Louis funeral director often communicates with families after the service and burial. Epstein said they are often asked, “Where do we secure a monument?”
“So what we did was basically fulfill that need that was there and offered this service to the Jewish community.”
Louis started selling monuments about 30 days ago. The service was advertised for the first time in The Chronicle’s Feb. 25 edition. The Epstein family also owns funeral homes in Columbus, Ohio, and in Minneapolis and St. Paul, Minnesota. Epstein began his career in funeral service in 1968. This service has been available at the funeral home in Columbus since 1978.
Epstein said one reason families are now asking for this service is because they are often spread out all over the country and they would like to make all the arrangements at one time.
“That could be a stone that is already there to have a second name engraved, or is it a new stone they would like us to engrave and place for them. It’s just a service that families have asked us to provide and now we are in the position to do that for them.”
Jewish tradition isn’t clear as to exactly when a headstone should be placed and unveiled. MyJewishLearning.com says it is customary for the grave marker to be put in place and for an unveiling ceremony to be held after the Kaddish period (11 months for parents, 30 days for other close relatives) is over, but no later than one year after the death. According to Chabad.org, the stone can be erected the day after shiva is completed (which is eight days from the burial). In Israel, the stone is usually placed soon after shloshim (the first 30 days of mourning). As Chabad notes on its website, “one should follow the custom of his community.”
Epstein said some families prefer to have monuments erected close to Memorial Day or near the High Holidays.
“Actually monuments for Rosh Hashanah/Yom Kippur have become more popular than Memorial Day.”
When families are at Louis planning a funeral they will be asked, “Do you feel this is an appropriate time to visit about this?”
Louis now has a full display of different types of granite, as well as examples of how they can be cut, on site to show families. If a family doesn’t want to discuss the purchase of a monument while the funeral is being planned but does want to purchase it from Louis, the purchase can be handled in a number of ways, including a home visit from a Louis Memorial Chapel funeral director.
“Very shortly we’ll have a whole computer program for that. Families can literally sit in a room and design whatever they want. It’s amazing,” he said. “With this program we can design a stone for you and then send it to five people in your family and then we can have a conference call and discuss everything and make changes as we visit.”
Epstein was unable to give an exact price range on monuments due to the various requirements of individual cemeteries. A quick internet search finds they generally start at just under $200.
“I can give you 30 different prices because it’s the price of the granite. The size is a secondary part, but it’s the granite. So if you take a black granite that comes from Africa, it’s going to be much more expensive than a granite that comes from St. Cloud, Minnesota, or Milbank, South Dakota, or from Vermont or New Hampshire. … It’s again what the families feel is in a price point that they are comfortable with.”
Epstein pointed out that there are some cemeteries, like Rose Hill, that don’t have monuments. Rose Hill has flat bronze markers on graves that are ordered from the cemetery.
He said since Louis began selling monuments about 30 days ago, there has been positive interest in the service.
“We realize this is very, very new for the Jewish community here and it’s just an additional service that we hope people will transition into.”