As the specialist and congregation consultant for the North American Reform movement in the program areas of caring community and family concerns, a major part of Rabbi Richard Address’s work has been in the development and implementation of the project on sacred aging. This project has been responsible for creating awareness and resources for congregations on the implication of the emerging longevity revolution with growing emphasis on the aging of the baby boom generation. This aging revolution has begun to impact all aspects of Jewish communal and congregational life.
Rabbi Address will be in Kansas City on Thursday, May 5, to give a presentation titled, “To Honor and Respect.” It is one of three seminars being held in conjunction with Older Americans Month, co-sponsored by Jewish Family Services. (See below)
He said programs regarding sacred aging are necessary these days, pointing to the growing numbers of older adults. According to the Administration on Aging of the Department of Health and Human Services, 39.6 million people were 65 years or older in 2009. That represented 12.9 percent of the U.S. population. By 2030, the number of older Americans will grow to about 72.1 million older persons, which will make up about 19 percent of the population.
Rabbi Address said one of the most popular aspects of the sacred aging program the Reform movement has designed is caregiving and the impact it is having on the baby boomers. For that age group he has found, “if you aren’t doing this now, you have done it or you will do it. Everybody is going to get a turn at caregiving.”
He said the workshop, which is free and open to the Jewish and general communities, will focus on how classic Jewish texts guide and inform people on “the art of caregiving.”
“We’re really going to look at how we can approach, using the classic texts from the Bible, this whole phenomenon of caregiving. The title is based upon the quotation from the Torah, ‘to honor and respect,’” Rabbi Address said.
The greatest challenge to his work, he said, is getting out the information about how powerful the Jewish tradition is when it comes to sacred aging.
“Really in its ancientness it anticipates everything that people are going through,” said the Reform rabbi, who was here in November as a scholar in residence at Congregation Beth Torah.
One of the things Rabbi Address said he enjoys while he’s teaching about Jewish tradition and its approaches to caregiving is the opportunity to learn people’s stories.
Rabbi Address has some personal knowledge in the area of caregiving, as he has taken care of his mother, who now lives in a nursing home, for about 20 years. He’s learning that caregivers are tired, frustrated and stressed. As an example he explains a conversation he recently had with a man in his early 60s.
“He said, ‘This was supposed to be the time that I was supposed to have everything and now I’m working harder than I’ve ever worked before. I’m taking care of my 88-year-old parent. I’m heavily involved with my kids. I’m driving carpool for my grandchildren. This was supposed to be my time.’ ”
He said the seminar is geared toward people who are looking to find ways to “carve time out for me.” Many caregivers today, he said, are saying, “I’m losing part of myself in this.”
Along those same lines, Rabbi Address said caregivers are often faced with conflicts between caring for a loved one and caring for his or her own family.
“Who takes precedence between the person needing care and the demands of my husband, or my wife, or my children? A lot of times people feel they are being pulled in so many different directions and then they wonder, what about me? Who is taking care of me?”
The rabbi hopes this seminar will help people in these situations learn how they can take care of themselves spiritually.
Another point of discussion will be how roles can change once a caregiving situation arises.
“Sometimes you’re the daughter and sometimes you will be the parent. It’s an interesting dance,” he said. “There’s a real fine line of when you don’t take away someone’s dignity. There will be times that you may be put in the position that you may have to negotiate that dignity, which I am doing now with my mom in the nursing home, which is undignified. So many people are living it. And there is no right or wrong.”
He pointed out that there is no text book for people to follow, and the paths caregivers take are often very different. He gives the example of two friends.
“As they sit and discuss things over coffee, they will find that while their situations are similar they are radically different because there are different people involved, who bring to the table different universes and different experiences.”
May 2011 Older Americans Month
In honor of Older Americans Month KC4 Aging in Community, and its partner organizations, is sponsoring three events which are free and open to the community.
Caring for Your Family and Friends, featuring Rabbi Richard Address, will take place from 1 to 3 p.m. Thursday, May 5, at the Social Hall of the Jewish Community Campus.
A late afternoon seminar will also take place from 4 to 6 p.m. on May 5. The topic is Universal Design and it will be held in the LiveWise Renovations Showroom at 3500 W. 75th St., Suite 100, Prairie Village, Kan. 66211.
The topic is Mobility and Transportation from 9 a.m. to noon on Saturday, May 7. The seminar will be held at the Landon Center on Aging at KU Medical Center, 3901 Rainbow Dr., Kansas City, Kan. 66160.
The seminars are sponsored by KC4 Aging in Community, Jewish Family Services of Greater Kansas City, Theo and Alfred M. Landon Center on Aging, Mid-America Regional Council, Shepherd’s Center of KC Central, LifeWise Renovations and the American Red Cross. Reservations are requested but not required; e-mail or call (816) 979-1366.