Kay Wilson has spent the past two and a half years with only one goal in mind — trying to find a moment’s respite from the constant barrage of thoughts, images and sounds that fill her mind. It’s been more than two and a half years since she was brutally stabbed while guiding Kristine Luken, an American tourist, through an archaeological site in the hills surrounding Jerusalem.

All her hard work with therapists, psychologists and counselors came to naught earlier this month by the surprising announcement that Prime Minister Binyomin Netanyahu, who was once outspoken against such actions, plans to release 104 Arab terrorists, many of whom are serving life terms in jails for murder. They were tried and convicted of heinous crimes, but are being released so that the “Palestinians” will agree to hold peace talks with us. This has not worked in the past, but following two visits by U.S. Secretary of State John Kerry, it seems as though our leaders have been convinced (or threatened?) to try it again. Following the prisoner release that resulted in Gilad Shalit’s freedom, the government promised no future deals where terrorists would be released.

While Kay’s story is still fresh in my own mind, I will recount the details for anyone unfamiliar with what happened.

It was a clear and beautiful Shabbat afternoon in December 2010, when Kay was working as a tour guide. She took her friend/client, Kristine Luken, on a tour that began with a local winery. The two then headed down into the valley to see some popular archaeological sites. As they were walking, two young Arab men appeared out of nowhere and asked them for water. Not trusting them or wanting to engage in a conversation, Kay answered in Hebrew that they didn’t have any and continued on. She immediately realized that they were being targeted and whispered to Kristine to be on guard. Kay wrapped her fingers around the penknife in her pocket, which was her only form of self defense.

Soon enough, the same two Arabs came out from behind them and grabbed them. The women struggled, at which time Kay stabbed one of them in the thigh, but the Arabs were strong and armed with a large knife. In what appeared to be a kidnapping attempt, they were tied up and blindfolded. As Arabs continued to phone their contact person for backup, the terrorized women waited under knife point for 30 minutes. When their backup did not arrive, they quickly made the decision to kill their victims and flee.

Bound, barefoot and gagged Kay watched and listened to Kristine’s final sounds of death from a few meters away. Knowing that she was next, she awaited the same fate. After being stabbed 13 times, she was still lucid enough to pretend like she was dead. Her eyes were open as they plunged the knife into her back over and over.

Thinking they had killed her, they started to leave. For some reason, they turned around to make sure she was dead. With her eyes open, she did not flinch when one of them ripped the Magen David off her neck and thrust his knife deep into her chest.

When the murderers left, she understood that if she stayed where she was, it would be difficult for the police to find her body so she made a superhuman effort to drag herself up to the main road. Bleeding from broken bones and a punctured diaphragm, she pulled herself up and began, step by step, going forward through sharp thorns and thicket with her bare feet that were tied together. When she fell, she got back up and continued.

She was racing against the end of daylight hours. With her injured dog following, she plunged ahead and arrived at the top near a parking lot and picnic tables. When she knew she was seen by children playing, she collapsed.

The police were called and a search crew worked through the night before finding Kristine’s body. Kay was taken to hospital, where she recovered while the police stood guard outside her room.

The first few days were spent being questioned by a special investigating unit. Due to Kay’s testimony and bravery, the police not only caught the Arab murderers, but the DNA on her penknife led them to a gang of 13 terrorists.

It’s been two and a half years, but for Kay Wilson, it seems like yesterday. The once vibrant and lively tour guide feels stuck in a bad dream. She cannot escape and the scenes and sounds of that day continue to play in her mind.

Kay saw her Arab attackers again face to face when she testified against them. When they appeared with a smirk on their faces, she stood up in the courtroom and shouted, “Am Y’israel Chai!”

They had confessed to the crimes and were sentenced to life, although one of them appealed his conviction. They, and their gang, were also convicted of other assaults and murders in the same area, including the murder of teacher Neta Blat Sorek the previous year.

The little relief and security Kay felt by helping “put them away” vanished this month when Prime Minister Netanyahu announced the release of 104 Arabs from prison. So what if they were given multiple life sentences in prison? So what that they had killed without remorse and would proudly do so again? The thought of Kristine’s murderers also being freed in the future sends chills up her spine.

According to a list released by The Times of Israel, here is a partial list of Arab terrorists who will be released in the coming months:

• Issa Abed Rabbo attacked Revital Serry and Nir Levi as they were hiking south of Jerusalem in 1984. He tied their hands, blindfolded them and shot them in the head.

• Muhammad Tus belonged to a terror group that planned five bus attacks, which killed Edna Harari, Motti Swisa, Zalman Abolnik, Meir Ben Yair and Michal Cohen.

• Fayez Hour murdered two people in the Gaza Strip and while in jail, planned an assassination attempt on Yitzhak Shamir.

• Mohammed Daoud killed Ofra and Tal Moses by throwing a Molotov cocktail at their car in 1987.

• Mahmoud Harbish and Iomaa Adam killed Rachel Weiss and her three children by attacking their bus north of Jericho in 1988. When David Delarossa, a soldier, tried to help them, they killed him as well.

• Nihad Jundiyeh killed Zalman Shlein, an Israeli contractor, in 1989.

In the past, Arab terrorists who have been released from prison often continue with their murderous plans until they are captured again. In the meantime, many innocent Israelis will suffer while the government officials are caught up in their wonderful euphoria mistakenly called, “the peace process.”

Gayla Goodman made aliyah from Kansas City 26 years ago. She lives in in Mevasseret Zion, just outside of Jerusalem.

Thoughts lack substance

The vitriol oozing from the letter of Rob Montague regarding the article on Israel by Morton A. Klein is truly impressive. His vocabulary of invectives is superb; nay, almost matchless.

Regrettably, once past the insults, his letter smacks of the viewpoint typically found in communications from adherents of J-Street (which never finds an Arab demand to which it is unwilling to concede). His thoughts totally lack substance. His letter offers little more than wishful thinking. He criticizes, but proposes nothing specific, save the creation of a Palestinian State based on mere blind hope and crossed fingers.

Perhaps that is being a trifle unkind. He does demand negotiations with the Palestinians. However, it would have been instructive for Mr. Montague to have explained how one negotiates with someone who adamantly refuses to concede your very right to exist. When your presumed negotiating partner cannot even bring himself to lie about his eagerness to see you dead, it does put a damper on one’s enthusiasm for the project.

He acknowledges that in creating a Palestinian State, “there are risks involved.” Easy to say when one is snug and smug in Overland Park. Maybe if he spent some time living near the border with Gaza he might have a different perspective. At the very least, since his own life is not at risk, he might be a little less cavalier in his willingness to risk the lives of Israelis. It is the Israelis who have their lives on the line. They unquestionably know all the nuances of their situation better than we. We all should be supportive of whatever course of action they decide is in their own best interest. That includes Rob Montague, Morton A. Klein, and me.

Lee Levin

Overland Park

An embarrassment to world Jewry

When I first became aware of the fraud and subsequent cover-up at the Jewish Claims Conference I couldn’t believe it was possible, but now I understand. Chairman Julius Berman has kept the majority of his board members in the dark and the ones that do know how he has operated are just happy to serve. They enjoy the perks and will not rock the boat.

It’s every Jew’s responsibility to go on record and take a stand against the desperate actions of Mr. Berman. The board members who sit back and condone this behavior are just as guilty. I commend Jerusalem-based columnist Isi Leibler and Rabbi Dr. Bernhard Rosenberg of Edison, N.J., for having the guts to step up and expose Mr. Berman’s desperation to hang on to his powerful and influential position. Rabbi Rosenberg has been an advocate for Holocaust survivors for many years and to my knowledge is the only rabbi to publicly criticize the Conference. Mr. Leibler has refused to back down despite threats of legal action.

Any person with a conscience must stand behind Rabbi Rosenberg and Mr. Leibler in fighting for the elderly Jewish survivors. In a few years these witnesses to man’s inhumanity to man will be gone. Therefore it’s  every Jew’s responsibility to see that they are treated with dignity in their twilight years. I urge you to let the Claims Conference leadership know that their actions are an embarrassment to world Jewry.

Barry P. Resnick

Orange, Calif.

Support independent Palestinian state

Wow! I nearly had to take a dose of anti-nausea medicine after reading the full-page screed by Morton A. Klein (July 18), arguing that a Palestinian state won’t bring peace! It’s a long time since I’ve seen such a full-throttled dump of anti-Arab hatred, stereotyping and, you should pardon the expression, just plain dreck! Still, it’s useful that The Chronicle published this to give us a chance to see the kind of poison that’s being peddled by at least a part of the Jewish community and its so-called “leadership.”

Morton is so preoccupied with sliming the Arabs and Palestinians that he overlooks the obvious: of course there’s no guarantee that a Palestinian state will bring peace. But what is guaranteed is that maintaining the status quo, as he advocates, will assuredly not bring peace. All Israel will have, in such a tragic scenario, is a large and eternally angry and resentful Palestinian population under its boot, ready to explode at any moment and on a regular basis. Is that really the future Morton and his ilk wish for Israel? If it is, he and his friends are truly meshugginah and should be committed to some kind of institution!

Although there are no 100 percent assurances in any part of life, let alone the Israeli-Palestinian relationship, there are real chances that an independent Palestinian state will begin to turn from its endless grievances with Israel to starting to build up their own country and society. The average Palestinian is sick to death of the current situation in which it’s impossible to plan for the future or seriously begin developing commerce and industry, or even just raise a family. Most just want what everyone wants: a chance to live a normal life! Certainly there are die-hard ideologues among the Palestinians who will nurse their resentments against Israel and even act on them once in a while. But those are manageable threats that Israel can live and deal with, just as it has been ever since 1967. A Palestinian state is not going to be a serious, credible existential threat to Israel. If it were to go to war against Israel it would be wiped out in hours. Whatever their rhetoric may be, the Palestinians aren’t that stupid, nor are they suicidal. There will be peace between an independent Israel and Palestine, even if relations may not be as free of friction as those between, say, Canada and the United States. But in time that will come, because it’s in the interest of both peoples and countries.

It’s time for all of us really care about Israel’s future to speak strongly in favor of a two-state solution and do everything we can to pressure both-sides to get serious about negotiating a permanent peace. Now is a propitious time to do it, because with the upheavals in the Arab world the Israeli-Palestinian conflict is no longer the one central, burning issue in the region. In much of the Arab world people are calling for an end to the corrupt, authoritarian regimes under which they’ve suffered, and are beginning to evolve into modern societies. The average Palestinian wants that, too. That means that there are new opportunities that didn’t exist before, and it’s important to seize this transformative moment in the Arab world. Yes, there are risks involved, but to perpetuate the existing stagnant situation is no answer. It’s time for both Israelis and Palestinians to move ahead, and we need to help them get there. It’s time!

Rob Montague

Overland Park, Kan.

SAFEHOME thanks Flo Harris Foundation

SAFEHOME would like to publicly thank the Flo Harris Foundation for renewing SAFEHOME’s Jewish Outreach Program Grant for this grant cycle. Chronicle subscribers received a copy of “The Guide to Jewish Life” a few weeks ago. At the time of the editor’s deadline, SAFEHOME did not know that the Flo Harris Foundation would again fund the agency’s Jewish Outreach Program. How wonderful that we can acknowledge the Foundation’s generosity now!

For your information, in the last year, funding from the Flo Harris Foundation allowed me to facilitate several speaking engagements in a wide variety of venues in our community. This grant also enabled SAFEHOME to print new materials to send out in a mailing to all our local Jewish clergy. It both moved and excited me that upon receiving the mailing, six rabbis contacted me immediately saying they would be more than willing to help in any way if a Jewish victim asked for resources beyond SAFEHOME’s scope. It is our dream that in the upcoming year we will see an increased level of collaboration to promote healthy familial relationships and awareness of the dynamics of family violence. I hope this will include a collaborative, educational program in late winter. The Flo Harris Foundation truly deserves a kol ha k’vod for supporting SAFEHOME’s continued domestic abuse education in our Jewish Community.

As the introspection begins with the advent of our holidays, appreciate the peacefulness of your homes. When Yom Kippur ends and you build your sukkah, please know that those affected by family violence, and people who make the courageous decision to leave and find refuge in SAFEHOME’s shelter, truly live in a “temporary dwelling.” Together, we can help them achieve better, safer lives.

Let me wish you a very early L’Shanah Tovah Tikatevu.

Susan Lebovitz, CVM

Volunteer Manager

SAFEHOME’s Jewish Outreach

Program Coordinator

Claims Conference needs to distribute money now

I have been relentless in attempting to force the Holocaust Claims Conference to re-evaluate and change their methods. At least they are enacting these corrections. However, why shouldn’t the money they have in their possession be distributed immediately to Holocaust survivors? There are precious few survivors left and soon they will be gone. Only the youngest are still alive. My father Jacob, a survivor of Auschwitz and Buchenwald, passed away 30 years ago. My mother, a survivor of Skarzish and Buchenwald, passed away 20 years ago.

I ask every Holocaust survivor reading this to protest to the Claims Conference or their attorneys and ask what is happening with the funds. Twenty percent of these funds goes to birthright, Holocaust museums, writers etc. Ask why a Nazi is receiving compensation from the Claims Conference after his identity as a Nazi was revealed. Ask why individuals who are not really Holocaust survivors but were added to the list receiving funds.

It is your money and you deserve it now. How is it possible for Holocaust survivors to be in need of food and medications when the Claims conference holds so much money?

I am only one person. You must speak up now.

Rabbi Dr. Bernhard Rosenberg

Edison, N.J.

For a week in July, Bev Jacobson and I had the amazing privilege to go on the Jewish Federations of North America (JFNA) Campaign Chairs mission to Belarus and Israel. This was not your regular mission to tourist sites and famous landmarks. Instead we learned the history of Jewish communities in the former Soviet Union, met Holocaust survivors, delivered care packages to elderly Jews in need and danced with Jewish kids of all ages at the JDC community center in Minsk, Jewish summer camps in Belarus, and then Birthright Israel participants and IDF soldiers in Israel.

JFNA funds programs in Israel and our overseas Jewish communities to enhance the well being of Jews through the values of tikkun olam (repairing the world), tzedekah (charity and social justice) and Torah (Jewish learning). We visited communities in Belarus and throughout Israel to learn about some of these programs and talk with the participants. What struck me through our travels and busy schedule was no matter who we met or where we were, individual people were doing incredible things to help each other and help their communities. One particular visit really resonated with me.

It was a beautiful sunny morning in Haifa, when our small bus arrived at Rafael Advanced Defense Systems, the premier Israel security and defense equipment company in Israel (http://www.rafael.co.il). The company employs more than 7,000 people worldwide and is the company that developed and built the Iron Dome missile defense system Israel now uses. Because of the top security required, we willingly turned over our cell phones and cameras before the briefing. In a modern, smoky-blue-glass-walled conference room, we met with the company marketing and chief information leaders, as well as three ultra-Orthodox Jewish haredi women who now work there.

One woman, Rivka, told us that at a young age she liked computers and knew she wanted to be a software engineer. In her haredi community the seminary training focused on Jewish learning and teaching careers. When I asked Rivka how she and her family felt about her job, she gave us the biggest smile and said “I’m so happy to do what I love and be able to provide for my family, and my parents and husband are so proud of me that I work for such a prestigious company that helps protect Israel”.

It was through Jewish Federation funded programs and counseling services (with partner agencies and other companies in Israel) that she was able to get the continued education and corporate skills training to compete and be offered a job at Rafael. Federation funded programs also helped Rafael human resources and managers understand and accommodate the special needs of ultra-Orthodox women employees. As a working mother, it was inspiring to hear about the program and how Federation helps people fulfill their potential while still honoring their religious beliefs.

Our trip concluded in Jerusalem, where we learned about social service and educational programs in Israel, celebrated Shabbat, and met with members of the Knesset, (including the new Yesh Atid party, founded in 2012, that seeks to represent what it considers the center of Israeli society: the secular middle class). Throughout our trip we met Jewish people of all ages who shared their stories with us. Many of them, like us, had parents or grandparents who left Eastern Europe and began new lives in a new country. It reminded me how we are all connected by our common heritage and how we each have the opportunity to make a difference for our families, our local communities, and for Jewish communities all over the world.

Amanda Palan serves as Jewish Federation Women’s Philanthropy campaign co-chair.

What do you get when you take 14 women from diverse Jewish backgrounds, many of whom do not know each other, and send them on a 10-day trip to Israel together? An entirely new perspective and an amazing sisterhood!

I felt blessed to be able to return to Israel this summer with the Jewish Women’s Renaissance Project (JWRP) with the support of our local KC Kollel. JWRP was founded in 2008 with the goal of inspiring and empowering women “to change the world.” The flagship program is the 10-day mission trip to Israel — in five years, more than 2,000 women from over 40 cities and seven countries have traveled to Israel and taken this journey together.

As I look back on the trip, I struggle to put into words the experience and impact it has had on my life. The journey really began here in Kansas City with our city leader, Bracha Schulgasser. With her guidance, we came together as very different people with different goals — but with one mission — to learn and to bring this knowledge back home.

As we left Kansas City, we joined women from across the United States and Canada. We traveled to Northern Israel — the eyes and ears of the nation, as our trusted guide, Patrick, explained. The excitement overpowered any perceived jetlag, and we dined on delicious salads, vegetables, appetizers and fish at the beautiful restaurant Decks. Then we danced into the night! This was the start of “sleep is for when you get home” mentality.

The following day, we traveled farther inland to kayak the Jordan River and then on to Safed. Two of the four holy cities in less than 24 hours! Wow. The spirituality in Safed is almost palpable. Walking the steps — the many, many steps that our ancestors walked before us, is somehow grounding. We again had an amazing dining experience before heading back to the buses and continuing farther toward the “bellybutton” — Jerusalem.

As we arrived in Jerusalem (evening two in Israel!), music began playing on the bus and we watched as the city came into view. There is a beautiful mixture of old and new and of history and future. We settled into the King Solomon Hotel for the remainder of our time. The hotel is wonderful. We all noticed a mezuzah on every room door frame. The following morning, we walked to the Old City and to the Aish HaTorah Building. As we glanced out the back window, we stared at the Kotel in awe. We had a wonderful introductory lecture on the power of prayer, and then we went to the Kotel. For some of us, this was the first time; for others, it was a return to a safe place. For all of us, it was a humbling moment to stand where so many other Jews have stood for thousands of years and offered their prayers.

These first two days were the appetizers for the rest of the week — we continued to have amazing teachers, classes that spilled over into the evening when we were dining and shopping together on Ben Yehuda Street, and chesed projects that inspired us to bring home a better way to treat people and to find ways to help people in our own neighborhoods.

The classes built up to Shabbat. During the day on Friday, we learned about the mitzvah of making challah — and some great new ways of rolling the dough. We spent some time in the shuk bargaining and absorbing Israeli culture in the pre-Shabbat hours. As we were ushering in Shabbos, we were offered a safe place to keep our phones, etc. I decided to give mine over to the safety of the bag — this was the first time in many, many years that I can remember being without a phone. As scary as I thought it would be (“what am I forgetting and who’s trying to reach me?), it was truly liberating. I was completely free to be in the moment. All of the women joined in song and dance near the Wall — arms and voices linked. We were joined by soldiers, by young women participating in Birthright, by visitors. We were a sisterhood and we were welcoming Shabbat. Dinner was, of course, amazing. We were joined by lone soldiers and heard amazing stories of their experiences and their journeys.

As the week was drawing to a close, the experience kept growing. We traveled to Masada where two of the women from Kansas City were given their Hebrew names. What an honor to be able to be there with them. Mazel tov!

It is almost impossible to explain the impact of the daily experiences during this trip — the overriding message to me was that everything we do matters — even the little things. It is not all or nothing. If we all make an effort to do one thing every day and teach it to our children, we are making a difference. We will empower and change the world.

If you have the chance — if you get an email or see a flyer about this trip in future — please think about the opportunity. It will amaze you. And gentlemen, there is a special trip on the horizon just for you! Seize the opportunity. It will give you new perspective, and it just may change your life.

Thanks for a job well done

This is to thank Betty Kalikow for all of her dedication and hard work that she gave to our Jewish community for so many years.

Betty catered many of our Jewish celebrations, weddings, Bar and Bat Mitzvahs, Brises and even more fabulous meals. (Not only for the Jewish community, her calendar was always filled with caterings and she even authored a cookbook). Betty was one of the foremost caterers in Kansas City.

She did such a wonderful job at each and every one of these occasions, no matter how many people she had to cater for, nor how hard the event was, not even if she had multiple caterings on the same day. Betty raised three children at the same time she worked tirelessly all of those early years, and did many of her caterings with her loving husband Al by her side. (I don’t think he helped cook, but he did endless duties at the actual event!)

And, Betty got along with everyone, never letting someone else’s ill temper get the best of her. Betty always has a kind word to say, and the most wonderful attitude of anyone I’ve ever known.

Barbara Frager persuaded Betty to start a “real” lunch program for the Heritage Center around 15 to 20 years ago. The Heritage Center’s senior program could boast that they had a wonderful caterer to plan and implement their lunches Monday through Friday, and also the large luncheons that they put on for Rosh Hashanah, Chanukah parties, Thanksgiving, Mother’s Day and Father’s Day ( to name a few). These luncheons always drew in a big crowd of at least 150 people, and everyone had such a good time at these festive luncheons. Between Barbara Frager making all of the senior crowd feel so needed and wanted and comfortable at these luncheons in the social hall by her calming demeanor and her special way of relating to all, and Betty’s wonderful chicken luncheons, the senior community felt very special due to Barbara and Betty.

Betty recruited me to work with her at the Heritage Center, and I learned so much from her about how to deal with catering issues, and many other “people” related things. I felt very fortunate to be able to work alongside Betty for five years. Nothing could get Betty to lose her temper, she always had a kind word and smile for her friends and even for those she didn’t know well.

I know that the Heritage Center has lost a wonderful caterer, and the Jewish Community Center owes Betty its very best wishes and a million thank yous for doing such a wonderful job for the Jewish community for more than 50 years.

Have a good retirement, you deserve it, and all who know Betty know she has so much energy she’ll probably fill her time with her good friends playing cards and traveling to see her out of town children.

Thank you from our entire community ... we are so lucky to know you!

Liz and Rick Kaplan

Leawood, Kan.

Leslie and I were recently reviewing our personal legal documents — wills, powers of attorney, health care directives, etc. A friend asked us a question, “Do your children have their own ‘durable power of attorney for health care decisions’ documents?

Leslie and I said no ... and then paused.

Both of us realized what this meant. If something were to occur to either of our children — both of whom are over 21 — we would have no legal say regarding their health care. It would be in the hands of the state.

Remember Nancy Cruzan and Terry Schiavo? (If you don’t, you search their names and read about them on the internet.) Nancy was a 25-year-old, Terry Ann a 27-year-old. While both were married at the time of their health crises, neither one had legal documents permitting family and/or friends to determine the direction of their health care. If they did, we would not know about their lives or their deaths.

Many of our children, grandchildren, nieces and nephews (and friends’ children, grandchildren, etc.) are in those “in between” years of 21-30, where they are adults, yet still finding their own ground, still discovering their meaningful relationships. Perhaps they are still in college, in grad school, in their first or second jobs. Maybe they are dating or in a committed relationship, engaged, or even recently married.

What if the unimaginable happened and — tomorrow — your child was in a health crisis, unable to speak for him/herself? Who would be there to direct his/her health care?

You? Sadly, the answer is no.

While I am not an attorney, we were told unequivocally that absent legal documentation (a durable power of attorney for health care decisions, a health care directive or a living will), parents have no legal right to determine the health care for their child once s/he turns 21.

As a rabbi, I often counsel families regarding health care decisions. Many times, we sit and ask the question: “What would Sam have wanted in this situation?” “Would Sadie want to be on life support?” “Would Sara want us to take extraordinary measures?” Sometimes, the patient has shared his/her views. Often, s/he has not. Fortunately, no family I have helped had to contend with the state wanting one approach and the family wanting another. Equally fortunate, I have never helped a family that faced such decisions with a young person. But, it can happen. It does happen. And we need to protect our children’s desires.

So, this message is a plea: Have a conversation soon with your adult child (grandchild, niece, nephew) about this difficult topic. (Or forward this message to a friend and encourage them to have the conversation with their adult child, etc.)

In that conversation, encourage/assist your child to sit with an attorney and write a legal durable power of attorney for health care decisions. Your child has the right to determine who will make health care decisions if s/he is unable. Perhaps it will be you. Perhaps a grandparent. Perhaps a spouse. Perhaps a best friend. But your child — for your child’s own sake — needs to decide and create that legal document.

An equally important, and even more confounding document to write is a living will. For this is where a person says what s/he wants for her/himself if something were to happen and becomes incapacitated. Questions include: What situations would your child NOT want medical treatments to keep him alive? How does your child feel about organ donations, if something were to happen to her? Who will honor your child’s wishes most, to assure that his requests are carried out? (A good starting place with some reasonable questions to ask can be found at http://www.johncmartinlaw.com/articles/AHCDs.pdf. While it speaks about California, the questions raised are important regardless of where one lives.)

As our children become adults, they go off into the world filled with optimism and joy. We wish to encourage them and support them in their dreams. Equally, though, we want to protect them. Perhaps one of the great gifts we can offer is to help them put into place a system to help them — to speak for them — if they are unable to do so.

It is unimaginable and horrible to contemplate a time when our children are incapacitated and unable to communicate their own health wishes. We and our children don’t want to confront those painful issues. No doubt that was what Nancy Cruzan and Terry Ann Schiavo’s parents thought, as well. I am confident they wished they had.

Rabbi Arthur Nemitoff is senior rabbi at The Temple, Congregation B’nai Jehudah. This column was first published in his weekly Bisseleh Bytes newsletter emailed to congregants.

Women of and for the Wall

If I ever had an iota of interest in or sympathy for the two-month old, grassroots, Orthodox, Women for the Wall group, (note the word for) it was totally destroyed when I had the opportunity to listen to its founders recently.

Ronit Peskin and Leah Aharoni, co-founders of Women for the Wall, claim to be dedicated to heritage and tradition. But they certainly need to be taught about lashon hara (evil tongue or gossip) as well as defamation and slander because that was exactly what they did in their tirades against the Women of the Wall.

In case you don’t know Women of the Wall wants to wear prayer shawls, pray and read from the Torah collectively and out loud at the Western Wall. The Orthodox Women for the Wall group is opposed to Women of the Wall’s mission.

The Women for the Wall claim the Women of the Wall “runs against the traditional approach and are trying to impose their wishes on people who come to pray at the Western Wall.”

The Women for the Wall do not seem to understand that they are doing precisely what they reject. They are, in fact, trying to coerce women who do not believe like themselves to follow a tradition that is not their tradition.

At the same gathering representatives of Women of the Wall Batya Kallus, vice chair, and Shira Pruce, public relations chair, calmly and professionally explained their purpose.

On Sunday, Rosh Chodesh, once again, as has been occurring for 25 years, the Women of the Wall gathered to attempt to pray in an all-women’s prayer group. A friend of mine who was there and attends these gatherings regularly, reported that the police cordoned off the haredi men who proceeded to yell “zonah” (Hebrew for prostitute) and other disruptive things; next to them, barricaded together were religious women who did not appear to be praying but were also yelling. “Ghettoed in” with metal barricades on all sides next to the religious women were the Women of the Wall, attempting to pray. Outside the barricades were police, shoulder to shoulder, guarding the women when they left the security of the pen.

The atmosphere was far from calm; some haredi men threw eggs at the women and the yelling never stopped.

The government continues to search for a solution resolving the controversy over female prayer at the Western Wall. Jewish Agency Chairman Natan Sharansky, has called for the renovation of a respected site to make it accessible to non-Orthodox worshippers at all hours of the day.

Let’s hope cooler heads prevail and a solution is found soon.

Sybil Kaplan

Jerusalem, Israel

Thank you Alan Bram

This gem we call the Jewish Community Campus has served our community well since its opening in 1988. Since the creation of the Campus we have had the good fortune to have a premier facility manager in Alan Bram. I was fortunate to work with Alan when he came on board as he was initially officed at the Jewish Federation when it was located downtown. It was immediately clear to me that the Campus leaders back in the late ’80s recognized an extremely talented facilities’ manager when they met Alan. Their prescient decision to hire Alan has resulted in 24-plus years of real devotion to keeping the Campus as our community’s gem. Many of you probably aren’t aware that over the years Alan has been a consultant to other facilities around the country. His knowledge and expertise of how to run a complex and multi-purpose facility is rare. Alan’s dedication and commitment to keeping the Campus in such great shape has allowed our community members to work and play in a safe and well-kept environment. His selection of accommodating and knowledgeable staff has made the Campus the envy of all who visit here. Alan Bram is retiring and although he may not be physically present with us going forward as the Campus director, his influence and tender loving care of our community home will never be forgotten and for that we owe him much gratitude, appreciation and our collective thanks.

Shari Stimetz

Gladstone, Mo.

Scouting evolves, values persist

Recently, The Chronicle covered the decision of the Boy Scouts of America (BSA) to change its membership policies to no longer exclude gay youth. This is a long-awaited step in the right direction, which should be seen as evolutionary rather than revolutionary.

Many of us in the Jewish community actively participate in Scouting because it is a program proven to succeed in its mission to instill in youth character, citizenship and fitness. An independent (not commissioned by BSA) study from Baylor University*, utilizing the Gallup poll’s methodology, was released early this year entitled “Merit Beyond the Badge.” The Baylor study revealed that Eagle Scouts exceed societal norms in areas such as participation in health and recreational activities, connectedness to their families and community, community service activities, protecting the environment, planning and preparedness, goal orientation and respect for diversity, among others.

The National Jewish Committee on Scouting voted earlier this spring to support a resolution to allow the chartered organizations (sponsoring institutions of cub packs and scout troops) to determine their own membership and leadership standards to reflect the values of the chartered organization for their youth programming. That resolution did not make it to a final vote at the national BSA meeting this May. The resolution that was voted on by more than 1,300 Scouting volunteer delegates from throughout the country passed by a 61 percent to 39 percent margin, repealing the ban on gay scouts, but not on gay adults serving in a leadership role.

It took 13 years for Scouting to evolve from the Supreme Court decision supporting BSA’s right, as a private institution, to create its own membership and leadership standards, even if such standards were discriminatory. How long will it take BSA to evolve to the next step of inclusiveness among leaders, as well as youth, remains to be seen.

Scouting’s success for over a century in leadership and character development in our nation’s youth is hard to match. Today more than 2.7 Million youth participate in the Scouting program, while locally more than 35,000 youth are in the Scouting program. Scouting has and will continue to change as societal norms evolve. Meanwhile, many of us who are active in Scouting will continue to work from the inside for evolutionary change, trying to be patient and persistent as we continue to provide a proven program for today’s youth to achieve the values that their families and communities recognize in leaders.

*Jang SJ, Johnson BR, Kim Y, “Eagle Scouts: Merit Beyond the Badge”, Baylor University, 2013.

Norman Kahn, Member, National Jewish Committee on Scouting; Chair, Central Region Jewish Committee on Scouting; Former Chair, Heart of America Council Jewish Committee on Scouting

Joyful conversion process

I’ve always believed that when something is in our destiny, we just have to wait until it comes and then we must work hard to make that dream come true. That’s exactly what happened to me recently during my conversion process.

It was during Chanukah in 2012 that I met a Jewish Argentinian man who would help me more than anyone during the process. He also introduced me to Rabbi Jacques Cukierkorn.

I still remember when I met Rabbi Cukierkorn. He was sympathetic, kind, reliable and pleasant. I chose him as my teacher.

After that came a series of long emails, where Rabbi Cukierkorn was always willing to help me. After a little less than a year, the rabbi told me I was ready for my conversion and he would come to Mexico for the ceremony. But I told him I wanted to travel to Kansas instead.

I flew for Kansas City on the 29th of Nisan. My conversion took place the next day. I was very nervous. Once inside Kehilath Israel Synagogue where the mikvah is located, we went inside the library to meet the members of the Beit Din — Rabbi Cukierkorn, Rabbi Paul Silbersher and Rabbi Scott White.

They asked me about many things I had studied with Rabbi Cukierkorn. After about an hour, I went to the mikvah.

Since the very first moment I entered the mikvah, I started to experience a very unique sensation. It was a mixture of euphoria and calmness. Everything was different. I felt joyful. It is something unexplainable with words. It was so beautiful and I’ll never forget it.

Following the mikvah, we headed toward the shul. There Rabbi Cukierkorn let me hold the Torah and Rabbi Silbersher started to sing. I must confess I’ve never heard a man sing with such intensity and so beautifully. I just can’t stop talking about the wonderful feeling it all provoked in me. I was finally converted!

The day wasn’t over yet. Rabbi Cukierkorn showed me around the Jewish Community Campus, we attended the Yom HaShoah service, he introduced me to his beautiful family and he gave me a few gifts in honor of my conversion.

The day of my conversion was only the second time in my life I saw Rabbi Cukierkorn. When I saw him that day, I felt as if I had known him for a long time. I will never forget his kindness and hospitality. Thank you rabbi!

Stephanie Ruiz Lack

Puebla, México

Imagine standing where your home once stood and looking around at your neighborhood and seeing nothing but pile after pile of rubble, bricks, insulation and remnants of the personal items that made up your life. Now, imagine that it is not only your neighborhood but also the neighborhoods to the left and the right, and in front and in back. This is the scene in Moore, Okla.

As Jews, especially, we are taught that all people are our brothers and sisters. It is with this spirit in mind that Rabbi Zalman Tiechtel of KU Chabad reached out to our community asking who would join him in traveling to Moore to help those in need. I am so incredibly thankful for the opportunity that he gave me, my husband Jonathan, my sister Molly and nine others.

On the early-morning ride to Moore we were giggling and laughing as we would on any other road trip. The second we turned into the affected areas, the van went silent. We took in everything around us and the dramatic impact of it all.

The Oklahoma City Chabad facilitated our volunteering. When they took us to the neighborhood we would be assisting, they told us that these people have lost everything and we are here to do whatever they may need us to do. Jonathan, Molly and I went off in one direction by ourselves and set off to see whom we could help. As we walked down 13th Street, looking at lot after lot of former homes, we saw an elderly woman standing with another man. We approached her and told her that we were there to help her if needed and how sorry we were for her losses.

Diana shared with us her experience during the tornado. She was already being cared for by hospice prior to the tornado and her brother was with her on that day. Just like many homes in Oklahoma, her home did not have a basement. So Diana and her brother laid in the bathtub, using blankets and pillows as protection. After the tornado passed, the only walls left of the house standing were the ones around the bathroom. Diana passed out from the trauma of the tornado, but she saw the tornado pass over her home and saw a man caught up inside it screaming. There is just no way he could have survived, she told us.

Diana’s family had already been clearing away at the rubble that had been her house for the past 10 days, but they asked that we help because they were still desperately looking for a bag with her medications and the family Bible. We searched for hours. At one point, Jonathan located the stand that the family Bible had been sitting on. Her brother said that is the closest they will likely get to see of the family Bible that had been around for generations. He said he thinks the Bible went up to heaven.

That day there were so many volunteers, with groups of every faith and race, who came from across the county and across the world to assist the residents. There was even a group of Israeli volunteers who had been there since very soon after the tornado.

Seeing this level of devastation shows how quickly our lives can change. As we gathered our group together to leave, we all felt somewhat distraught at how little we had done compared to how much there is still yet to be done. But every brick moved is one brick closer to the people of Moore being able to start their lives again. We saw evidence of this even in a tree that although it had been shred away, the life within it was starting to bloom again on its branches, just one week later.

I felt such pride in our Jewish people and particularly the Chabad community of both Oklahoma City and KU for taking the initiative to assist Moore. The Oklahoma City Chabad has been down in Moore every day since the tornado hit talking to people, giving out teddy bears to children, gift cards to families, moving debris and whatever else was needed of them. It didn’t matter who these people were, Jewish or not, we were all children of G-d in that moment and we all depend on each other. We all wish that devastations like this will not happen again, but this is not G-d’s plan. We cannot question why these things happen but we can instead give of ourselves to make the burden even the slightest bit easier for those who must endure it.

Rebecca Katz, an attorney with Cohen, McNeile and Pappas, P.C., is a member of Congregation Beth Torah and Kehilath Israel Synagogue. She and her husband Jonathan are the parents of a young son, Sam.