Hanukkah is the festival of lights.
Each night of Hanukkah we light an extra candle to create more light and enhance miracles in the darkness of winter.
Many of us lean into more secular traditions of gift giving during this time of year as well — it’s fun and thoughtful, and it creates amazing memories for our children. But part of the Jewish experience is embodying the creation of light in the darkest times, in finding humor in sorrow, and in finding peace in times of communal trauma.
How do we teach this aspect of Judaism to our children? It’s not something that can be learned from a book, nor is it something that has clear instructions. Finding light is a modeled behavior. It is something our children need to see from us, the adults in their lives.
As Hanukkah approaches, many of us feel the weight of darkness. The literal darkness of winter affects many of us emotionally, and with the realization that this will be the second Hanukkah in war with hostages in captivity, and with our changing political atmosphere, darkness feels heavy. It can be hard to model being the light for our children. Yet, it is imperative that we continue to find and acknowledge the miracles in our lives and engage our children in this practice.
This practice of finding light and miracles starts in the home and doesn’t have to wait until Hanukkah. Find things that are meaningful to your family and intentionally point out why that thing brings light to your family. Show appreciation for the people in your home, not because of a chore completion, but because of who they are as people. When you are cooking a meal, discuss how different ingredients come together to make something delicious and how that can feel miraculous. As a family, go for a walk, even in the cold, and talk about the different things in nature you see, how we can change our view of the world to look at everyday things we take for granted as gifts.
Once you have done the internal work inside your home, begin to look outward. How can we add light? How can we be the shamash (helper candle) of the Hanukkiah? Can we open a door for someone (physically and metaphorically)? Can we give tzedakah? Can we volunteer? What can we do as a family to add light to our community? Discuss these things with the children in your life. Be active in brainstorming with them about how to create miracles. By opening a door for someone else, you may be adding a miracle to their life.
Lastly, and selfishly, relish in Jewish joy. Show your children what it means to love being Jewish, to embrace your heritage and culture wholeheartedly. Wear that ugly Hanukkah sweater to the “winter” concert at school, show up to community events. Go to your kids’ classroom and help teach other students about Hanukkah, and put the Menorah in the window. Be an active participant in the community and shine light from within.
The miracle of Hanukkah is not only that the oil lasted eight days, but that we survived, and we thrived. We will continue to do so by shining your light and seeking out miracles.
Molly Hess is the director of Jewish Experiences, a collaboration of Jewish Federation and The J.