Steven L. Passer, a Kansas City attorney whose life was shaped in equal measure by intellect, deep faith, mischief and an enduring love of performance — on stage, in his law practice and at every family gathering that was lucky enough to have him — died peacefully in hospice on April 15. He was 68.
The range of what Steve accomplished in a single lifetime was great and varied; he was a true Renaissance man. He was a fencer and a valedictorian, professional actor and law review editor, motivational speaker, certified special education hearing officer and, with his wife Sandy, co-founder of Sasone, a program that has quietly transformed Jewish education in Kansas City by opening the doors to children with disabilities. That he managed all this while also maintaining a wonderful sense of humor is perhaps the detail that best captures who he was.
Born on June 27, 1957, in Council Bluffs, Iowa, Steve grew up in Overland Park, Kansas, before making his way to New York City, where he earned a Bachelor of Arts summa cum laude in theater and communications from Yeshiva University, competing on the varsity fencing team as well as graduating valedictorian from the James Striar School of Jewish Studies. He then headed to the University of Iowa, where he completed a Master of Fine Arts in acting in 1981, serving along the way as an instructor in theater and directing.
For a decade after graduate school, he worked as a professional actor and director. He was great at it. But the theater was not where the story ended. It was where it began.
When he enrolled at the University of Kansas School of Law, he approached it the same way he had approached everything else: with complete commitment and, eventually, the highest distinction. He earned the Order of the Coif, American Jurisprudence Awards in seven subjects, the Robert B. Edmonds Prize in corporation and securities law and the Samuel Mellinger Leadership Award. He served on the Kansas Law Review and edited the Criminal Procedure Review. He joined the Kansas City firm of Payne & Jones in 1991 and remained a principal there for the rest of his career, advising entrepreneurs, closely held businesses and families on everything from business formation to estate planning. He was also a certified Special Education Due Process Hearing Officer for the State of Kansas.
Steve never stopped being a creative person just because he had become a lawyer. He wrote sketches and full productions for his law practice and for family events, bringing the same theatrical instincts trained in graduate school to whatever room he was delighting. People who attended those occasions did not forget them.
In 1995, Steve and Sandy, along with Alan Edelman, founded Sasone (the Hebrew word for joy) a program within the Jewish Federation of Kansas City. The premise was simple: that every child seeking a Jewish education deserved access alongside their peers, regardless of disability. Over 30 years the program grew from a call to action into one of the most comprehensive Jewish disability inclusion initiatives in the country, offering grants, professional development, on-site coaching and strategic consultation to all Jewish educational schools, congregational schools, Hyman Brand Hebrew Academy and J Camps.
He was a man of serious and sustaining Jewish spiritual conviction, and he understood Sasone as an expression of gemilut chasadim, acts of loving kindness. He believed, simply and without question, that no door to Jewish life should be closed to anyone.
He shared his Jewish learning and ruach by being a b’nai mitzvah tutor to many that still remember his teaching to this day, as do the lucky dozen who had the privilege to attend his most wonderful and entertaining Passover Seders. Those that attended Rosh Hashanah services at Congregation Ohev Sholom over the past several decades may have been lucky enough to witness his record-breaking and awe-inspiring shofar blowing.
Steve is survived by his wife of many years, Sandy Passer, who was his partner in every sense of the word; his daughter, Emily Passer, and her husband Peter; his son, Sam Passer; his cherished grandchildren, Zoey and Jo, who knew him as Saba; his mother, Jean Parelman; and his brothers Kevin, Mike and Danny. He adored them. They adored him back. Anyone who spent time with the Passer family understood that this was not a polite formality. It was heartfelt.
He was a man of high intellect who wore it lightly, a deeply compassionate person who expressed that compassion through action rather than announcement, and a natural mischief-maker who never entirely abandoned the instinct even when the occasion called for dignity — especially when the occasion called for dignity.
He made his family life in Leawood, Kansas, and leaves behind a community and a family grateful and more joyful for having had him in it.
Funeral services were held on April 17 at Louis Memorial Chapel, followed by burial at Mt. Carmel Cemetery.
In lieu of flowers, contributions in Steve’s memory may be directed to Sasone, a program of the Jewish Federation of Kansas City, at ; or Mazon – a Jewish Response to Hunger at mazon.org.
Online condolences may be left for the family at louismemorialchapel.com.